When im in the train, i have a strange feeling in my chest.


    I feel a bit tired, from the idea of going to school itself. I am in my third year already, so i''ve grown pretty damn tired of this trip already, haven''t i?


    My body feels quite heavy already. What time was it?


    I looked over to my phone, to which i accidentally unplugged my earphones.


    This happens way too often, to the point where i rarely get annoyed at it now.


    7:48... i''ll probably be late again, won''t i? Well, whatever.


    I won''t really get in a lot of trouble anyways, so it''ll be fine. Or i hope so, at least.


    As im staring at the ocean from the window in the train, i really ask myself why i feel so tired.


    Is it school?


    No, i really don''t think so. If it truly was, i would probably be skipping classes really often by now, but im not.


    Then, am i just bored of the constant loop?


    I mean, maybe... The only other thing i can really think about, would be my social anxiety acting up, but even so... i don''t really dislike hanging around most people i do over there. I did tell myself, that if it''s my last year, i want to make it as best as i can.


    "Soon, we''re stopping at the terminal station. Check your belongings, and please descend upon arrival."


    I checked my phone once again to make sure i won''t get there that late.


    7:58PM. I should be fine, after all the walk over to school isn''t really long from the station.


    I made sure to walk slightly faster than usual, without paying much attention to the relatively empty beach to my left.


    Sure, i could just sit on the sidewalk, and admire it while i get slightly lost in thought for quite a while,  but i don''t want to.


    I''ll start feeling pretty restless if i stop walking, so i wont. Besides, it really does get boring when you see it daily. Or maybe not boring, but i''ve just grown used to having the sea in sight.


    —Haruna, late again? —A familiar voice called out my name as Tōkai High was in sight.


    —It''s just by a few minutes so its alright, isn''t it?


    I jokingly exclaimed knowing well that these "few minutes" have been a pretty usual thing lately.


    —A few minutes can make you go a long way, young lady. Here, take these.


    Goro-san, tossed a bag at me, and i could guess by the smell what it had inside.


    He runs a small Taiyaki shop in the very same street where Tōkai is.


    And ever since i''ve moved to this small town here, he''s been a face i get to see pretty often on my way to school.


    —Eat them while they''re still warm. Have a good day, Haruna.


    He waved at me goodbye as i bowed in thanks to him, and made my way to Tōkai, while biting down on the warm anko taiyaki.


    As i entered through the back gate of the school, i made sure to swiftly make my way through the campus over to classroom 3-A.


    I''ve gotten pretty used to sneaking through the back gate, because if i try to enter through the front gate..


    —Mizuno, you''re late again!  —the principal will yell at me exactly like that.


    I tried to speed up my walking a little bit, pretending nobody called out to me, but i could feel someone''s gaze being fixated on me from behind.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    —Again? Principal, that''s a bad joke... i always make sure to arrive on time! — i joked around lightly, knowing well i can''t probably talk my way out of here.


    —You do always make sure to constantly arrive late, you''re right. Fill this out and leave it on my office before you go back. — he slapped a small folded sheet of paper on my had.


    I gave a defeated thumbs up, and wrote my name quickly on the sheet that i''ve grown pretty fond of recently.


    After this snarky interaction that is slowly turning into the very first thing that happens to me as soon as i get to school, i headed towards the 3rd floor.


    I took a deep breath, changed my expression to a more relaxed and calm one, and slowly opened the door as many eyes were instantly fixated on me.


    —Excuse meee, my train ran a little late! —i exclaimed playfully, as i do at times like these.


    —Make yourself comfortable, Mizuno. We haven''t really started yet, so don''t worry.


    —Is that so? I''ll take that gladly, maybe a little too gladly — i answered back as i kept the playful act up for a little bit more.


    Our math teacher chuckled along with some girls from the classroom, and i made my way to the back of the classroom, to sit.


    —So, was it on purpose today aswell, Haru? — my seat neighbour exclaimed daringly.


    —Excuse me?! but of course it was, Yuuko.


    As i managed to take out my notebook to act like i actually pay attention in math, the girl next to me chuckled at my answer.


    —I can hardly believe you''re the same person you were last year, you''re a lazy mess now, Haru.


    —Hey, don''t sound so dissapointed in me... i get tired too, am i not allowed to?!  —i tried to defend myself.


    And before i even finished talking, i knew what Yuuko was going to bring up.


    —You''re awfully tired, aren''t you? It''s been a whole week already of constantly getting it from the prin...


    —Okay, leave it at that, please. For my own sake, okay?  — i tried to put end to this topic before my name got slandered any further.


    The girls around us, while not being familiar faces to me, laughed along at how Yuuko was digging into me, and soon class began.


    Do i remember anything?


    Of course not. i just fell asleep midway through. I really can''t seem to find a way to properly kill time in here that isn''t sleeping.


    Most of the day goes by like this, genuinely. I''ve grown tired of these lectures, and all of these contents which i''ll likely never use in the future.


    Sure, i could keep it up as last year, and truly be a good student, and all, but...


    A faint picture in the form of my memory started forming in my head.


    "I''ve always admired how hard you work when you truly get into things, Ruu-chan"


    Ugh, it really hurts. Every time i start remembering things from last summer, a faint static starts to envolve my head, and it hurts.


    I really shouldn''t be feeling that down over it given it''s been already a year, but... i don''t know.


    My feelings are a bit too complicated to sort out at the current moment, so i''ll just lose myself in these lectures for now.


    —Haru, we''re gonna go hang around in the beach today. Want to tag along? — Yuuko said to me as soon as the bell rang for the last period of the day.


    —Not really, i don''t have to work today so i''ll just go to my house and drop dead for a little bit.


    —I''ll go bother you for a little bit if we go home early.


    —I would rather not, but do as you''d like. See you then, Yuuko — i waved her goodbye as i walked away, the sky dyed orange now.


    17:30PM.


    Im usually not walking towards the station on Thursdays, since i''d be going to the restaurant to work until 8, but i called in today so i could take the day off.


    I don''t feel particularly bad or anything, but it''s one of these days where i just want to head home, put some music, drink a cup of tea and just lay in my bed.


    That is, if Yuuko doesn''t come along to drag me out to somewhere, but whatever.


    The same usual routine, repeating once again. I get in the train, put my earphones on, and doze off until i get to the last station.


    Im not particularly bothered by it, you know?


    But i still feel like im doing something wrong by having such a... gray way of living.


    It feels like most of the time i give to myself isn''t really worth, for some reason.


    I walked out of the station, and the street was unusually filled with people. I looked around, to the very familliar sight.


    Takoyaki and Taiyaki carts on the middle of the street, a incredibly out of place convenience store, and so many people walking around just having a nice time.


    I forgot, today there''s a fireworks show, so there''s a festival going on. Really, how do i keep forgetting these things?


    The unusually large amount of food carts and nice atmosphere in general made me want to take a slight detour and eat something.


    I figured, it''d make for a nice way home, but my body feels a bit too heavy already. I don''t think im in the mood, for now.


    As i crossed the street, i took one last glance at the large street, and turned my back to walk a few blocks away from it.


    Not even five minutes passed, and i was already climbing the stairs to my apartment. I took my key out, and went inside.


    —Im home.


    I exclaimed to meet myself with the same silence i''ve always been used to.


    As i took off my shoes, and went inside, i opened up the curtains to be slightly blinded by the sky, still dyed of orange.


    I thought it looked even more colorful than before, when i was out. And it made me feel a bit lonely, for some reason.


    The light that came in from the outside was enough for my whole room to be decently lit.


    A bed,a closet, a small shelf with some books, and a white bass hanged up on the wall.


    There wasn''t anything else worth noting.


    After i opened the window to let air in, i went to the living room, and i laid down for a little bit, without really thinking about anything.


    I checked my phone, just for it to be empty. I pressed the play button, as i turned it off again and laid down.


    I don''t know if it was a sour coincidence or not, but the name of the song  that was playing was engraved in my head, despite my consciousness fading slowly.


    "Colorblind"


    Even if it''s just a coincidence, it''s a pretty good description of how i''ve felt lately.