How long had it been since then?


    About a month and a week or so. Ever since i started dating the first person i truly became friends with.


    Im not sure if i regret it or not. I never got the chance to truly fall in love with someone, or to get to define what it means to "like" someone.


    But... Yuuko-senpai said she loved me. And that she''d treasure me. Surely that''s enough of a reason to tell her yes, right?


    I mean... im not sure. It just happened, i guess? We didn''t have any deep conversations... and we don''t know much about each other.


    Sure, Yuuko-senpai is attractive. But i can''t be judging someone just because of that?


    The more that i think about it... the more that i realize i don''t even know why im dating Yuuko-senpai.


    We used to talk pretty frequently the first weeks, and i couldn''t say that i wasnt happy while talking to her.


    But now... i barely get to see her.


    She doesn''t text me very often, and she''s always busy doing something.


    Im being a good girlfriend by being understanding, and not making any trouble for her, right?


    I feel frustrated because i wanted to learn to love her and i''ve been giving it my all to do so since we started dating.


    But she already feels far away. I don''t know anything about her. I don''t know what she likes. All that i know is that she''s my girlfriend.


    Even so... are all of these things that frustrate me what i''d want about my lover?The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    I thought back, to the conversation i had with the other girl that i''ve been recently thinking about.


    "—Ever since we spoke on the beach. You''re very sincere compared to me, and i don''t know, it just dragged me in."


    If i think about her the same way... her actions actually match her words. When i speak to her... she''s always there. She''s not like Yuuko-senpai. She''s a lot more patient. She listens to me very patiently, the few times i have to speak to her from my heart


    . And she can always guess pretty closely to how i feel about things.


    We''re pretty similar, if i think about it. But she''s a really terrible liar. I hate liars more than anyone.


    Yet... i can''t say that Mizuno-senpai has ever lied to me like she lies to other people.


    She''s always fragile when she''s with me. To the point where i can hardly believe this is the senpai everyone gossips about or admires.


    She always looks like she''s on the verge of breaking down. Every time that i scold her... her eyes narrow from the guilt. She also has a habit of deeply apologizing for a lot of stuff she shouldn''t. And i always like to remind her that it''s okay, and that she hasn''t done things wrong.


    I always have a lot to say about Mizuno-senpai. I know her really well, despite knowing her for slightly less time than Yuuko-senpai.


    Is it like this, how i was supposed to talk to Yuuko-senpai this entire time?


    I tried, and i tried but no matter what, Yuuko-senpai doesn''t even bother. She doesn''t even try to understand me, or to pay the same attention that Mizuno-senpai does to me.


    Mizuno-senpai always feels really close to my heart, and she always knows what to say when i need it. I''ve never even been close to feeling that about Yuuko-senpai. No matter how many times we''ve walked holding hands... or how many times i''ve hugged her thinking i''ll eventually feel something... my heart doesn''t beat the same way it does when i talk to Mizuno-senpai.


    And my words, they never feel as unfiltered as they do when i speak to Mizuno-senpai.


    It just feels like my heart does the talking for me when its to her. And when Yuuko-senpai does it... i have to think really hard.


    I don''t know what im doing. I don''t want to be with Yuuko-senpai anymore. She''s never felt like a lover to me.


    Im not sure what i really want... but i really want to reach Mizuno-senpai''s slightly injured heart.


    I dont mean to intrude... but i really want to be somebody she can rely on. If i don''t start now... im gonna lose touch.


    Because i know this pitiful act of a relationship is causing her pain... and im always too afraid im going to freeze up if i mention it.


    I really wonder... can i try to be somebody you could love?