Chapter 31


    Amber


    I stare after Jake as he speeds away in his truck, utterly confused. What just happened? What did I do wrong? Why was Jake so upset with me? I thought I did everything he wanted! He told me in no uncertain terms that he wanted no strings, no commitment, no girlfriend—none of it. Despite how much it pained me, I agreed to all of that, because I really wanted to experience what it would be like to be with him. I’ve been so careful to respect his wishes! So why is he suddenly so upset with me?


    I reluctantly walk back to the house, but I keep going over our conversation in my mind. Jake sounded hurt. You told your parents that I''m not your boyfriend. Because he’s not, is he? Jake was adamant about that from the beginning! He has never said anything to the contrary, so why would me telling my parents that he’s not my boyfriend make him so upset?


    My step falters as the realization slowly dawns on me. Wait, does this mean that Jake actually thinks of himself as my boyfriend? Oh my Lord… But, he never said anything! Did I miss something? I press my hands against my eyes, because my head is suddenly spinning.


    That’s when the second realization hits me. No, Jake may not have said anything, but he did show me how he feels about me! He has been incredibly sweet to me all weekend, holding my hand and kissing me in the presence of other people, gifting me a keyboard and trying to cook me breakfast. He found the piano bar and shared the story about his favorite song with me. He even got himself tested for STDs so we could have sex without a condom, something Jake told me he never does.


    But it wasn’t just this weekend, I suddenly realize with shock. A string of meaningful moments floods my memory. Jake driving me to the mall to get my ears pierced. The way he held me in the barn, Friday night, when we were all waiting for news about Zane. Jake supporting me and encouraging me whenever I wanted to try something new. Us cuddling on his couch, watching a movie in his cabin. Jake giving me a back massage when I felt sore from carrying Olivia because her stroller broke down.


    Also, yesterday, Jake didn’t correct Lily when she said something about him being caught by me. He just smiled at her remark. And the way he looked at me when he held me in his arms last night certainly didn’t feel casual. It’s like all these little pieces are falling into place, and I’m seeing the complete puzzle for the first time. And suddenly I understand. Jake is in love with me! He has been my boyfriend all along! And I have just really, seriously hurt his feelings.


    ‘Oh! This is all so messed up,’ I groan out loud, while I drag myself back to my parents.


    But we can fix this, right? Because I love him too. Of course I love him! I can fix this!


    This has all been such a stupid misunderstanding. I thought I was respecting Jake’s boundaries, while he had already thrown them out the window. I feel like such an idiot! I should have just talked to him about it. The moment the line between casual and serious started to blur, we should have had that conversation. We could have laid everything out in the open weeks ago, instead of me tiptoeing around and second-guessing myself.


    But I know why I didn’t talk to him. I was scared. I was afraid I was imagining things. I feared that if I brought up wanting us to be more, Jake might pull away, and I wasn’t ready for that.


    Now everything has fallen apart, and I can’t shake the dread creeping up my spine. I need to fix this. Fast!


    When I reach my quarters, I''m met with my two very angry looking parents. They’re scowling at me with their arms crossed, but I walk inside without acknowledging them. I plop down in one of the chairs and stare into nothingness, my mind still reeling about Jake.


    ‘Amber Scott, what in the name of our Lord were you thinking, running out on our conversation,’ my father scolds me angrily. ‘That is not how you were raised!’


    ‘And to go running after that miscreant, of all things,’ my mother shakes her head disapprovingly.


    ‘Jake,’ I whisper, staring ahead.


    ‘I mean, honestly Amber, what were you thinking indeed?’ Mother continues without hearing me. ‘You know very well that rough cowboys are not appropriate company for a devout young lady. You should not be associating with a man like that.’


    ‘Jake,’ I repeat a little louder.


    ‘We agreed to let you come work here as a nanny, with the understanding that you would stay far away from those riffraff,’ Father says sternly. ‘You were only supposed to care for the children of the ranch owners, whom Hailey assured us were very devout people. We expected you to uphold the values of our Lord and the traditions of our family while you were here.’


    ‘Instead, we come here and we see that you are completely out of control! Wearing those inappropriate trousers, riding a horse on a Sunday,’ my mother continues, her voice laced with disappointment, ‘and you have even had your ears pierced!’


    My hand briefly touches the tiny silver stud in my left earlobe. I had completely forgotten about those, actually.


    ‘And then on top of it all,’ my father adds, ‘you rudely run out of us in the middle of a conversation, to go after that immoral miscreant! I will have you–’


    ‘JAKE!’ I interrupt him forcefully. I glance up at my parents. ‘His name is Jake!’


    ‘His name is of no concern to us,’ my mother dismisses with a wave of her hand. ‘We are both very disappointed in you, Amber. You have clearly shown us that you cannot handle the responsibility of being on your own.’This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    ‘Indeed,’ Father says solemnly. ‘Your mother and I have just discussed this, and we’ve decided that you are to tender your resignation with the Jenkins family, effective immediately. We’re taking you home.’


    ‘Oh, shut up,’ I mutter under my breath, slowly shaking my head in disbelief. But my parents clearly did not hear what I said.


    ‘We will find you a nice, devout family that you can nanny for in St. Cloud, while you continue to live at home with us,’ Mother declares. ‘And when you find yourself ready to get married, we will introduce you to a proper young man from our church. The Crawford family has just joined our community and they have a wonderfully devout, well-mannered son, who is only a few years older than you. Perhaps we can–’


    ‘Shut up, Mother!’ I yell as loudly as I can, jumping up from my chair. Both of my parents blink at me in shock. ‘You do not get to tell me how to live my fucking life!’


    ‘Amber…!’ my father scowls, his voice laced with threat.


    ‘You shut up too, Father!’ I meet his gaze firmly, my eyes just as angry as his. ‘I’m twenty-three years old! I’m an adult woman. I have a job. I earn my own money. You don’t get to control how I live my life anymore!’


    ‘Amber Scott, you listen to me right now…’


    ‘No, you listen to me, Mother!’ I snap, clenching my fists in frustration. ‘All my life, you’ve told me what to do. You’ve controlled how I dressed, what I ate, who I could talk to, what I could learn—everything! And by doing that, you’ve done me a great disservice. You’ve never prepared me for living independently. You’ve done it because you were afraid—afraid I’d outgrow you, afraid I’d find my own way. You intentionally kept me small and dependent on you, just so I’d do what you wanted. So you could control me. But you can’t do that anymore. I’ve been figuring it out on my own. I’m building a life for myself here—a wonderful life, filled with friends, warmth, and love. And with a boyfriend!’


    I watch their faces drain of color as the words hit them. The shock in their eyes is almost satisfying.


    ‘Y-you are not telling us that…?’ my father stammers.


    ‘Yes,’ I declare firmly, raising my chin and meeting my father’s gaze. ‘Jake is my boyfriend! Or he was—hopefully, he still will be after today. He doesn’t try to keep me small in any way. Jake encourages me to explore myself, to explore the world, and he’s been my constant support in doing so. He’s wonderful, kind, and he absolutely rocks my world,’ I say, without a shred of embarrassment.


    I hold my ground, letting the meaning of my words sink in. For the first time, I feel like I’m standing up for the life I’ve built, unapologetically and proudly.


    ‘Tell me t-that you have not…?’ my mother utters in disbelief. Her face turns white as a sheet.


    ‘... slept with him?’ I finish her sentence, lifting my eyebrows. I stare at her defiantly. ‘Yes, Mother, I certainly have. I have had sex with Jake. I have had sex with him every chance I got. I even had sex with him this morning. And I have loved every second of it,’ I declare proudly.


    ‘Mary Elizab–!’


    ‘No! Don’t you dare “Mary Elizabeth” me!’ I snarl, fury boiling in my veins. ‘This is MY life, and I get to decide how I want to fucking live it! I love my life here, and Jake is a big part of that. I love him, and I want him in my life.’


    ‘We are your parents! You are not allowed to talk to us this way, Amber,’ my father protests weakly. He looks ashen, seemingly astonished by the fact I''m talking back to them.


    ‘Yes, you are my parents! And as my parents, you’re supposed to love me. You’re supposed to love me for who I am. You need to accept that I’m no longer a child. I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions. You’ll have to accept that they may be different from yours and still love me anyway, because you are my parents!’


    The angry tears burn behind my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.


    ‘Your behavior is appalling!’ My mother is literally heaving, with her hand pressed against her chest. ‘You are not the daughter I raised!’


    ‘No, I am not the daughter you raised. I am the daughter who escaped your suffocating shackles, Mother,’ I reply fiercely, refusing to back down. ‘This is the real me. Not the me that you’ve tried to shape and mold into your vision of a perfect daughter.’


    ‘It’s that miscreant!’ my mother suddenly scoffs. ‘He did this to you. He is a bad influence on—’


    ‘Jake is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,’ I cut in sharply. A warmth fills my chest as I recall his words from last night. ‘He’s the one who encourages me to fly, while you’ve done everything you could to clip my wings at every turn.’


    ‘YOU HOLD YOUR TONGUE, AMBER SCOTT! THAT PROMISCUOUS, IMMORAL RIFFRAFF IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE CONSORT FOR MY DAUGHTER! YOU WILL NO LONGER SEE HIM! I FORBID IT! I WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU AS MY DAUGHTER AGAIN IF YOU PURSUE HIM!!’ My mother screams at me, her face red with rage. The vein on her forehead looks like it’s about to burst, and her eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.


    My father and I both stare at her in silence. He seems shocked by my mother’s sudden extreme outburst. The funny thing is, her words suddenly give me all the clarity I need. Looking at my parents, I see two people I hardly know. And they clearly don’t know me at all. We are essentially strangers to each other. But they are still my parents.


    ‘That’s up to you, Mother,’ I reply calmly. ‘But know that the consequences of that decision will be yours. I''m done letting you dictate who I should be. I love Jake. I plan to have him in my life for as long as he wants to be with me. You can either accept this, or you can lose me. The choice is yours. Because I will not choose you over him, or over the life I’ve built for myself here.’


    ‘Amber!’ my father calls out in shock.


    ‘I don’t need your decision right now. You can think about it,’ I tell my father as I turn my attention to him, deliberately ignoring my mother. I glance at the clock on my wall. ‘You guys should go home. You have a long drive ahead of you, so I suggest that you get back on the road now.’


    ‘Amber, please…’ my father says, his voice softening as his anger fades. He takes a tentative step towards me, but I shake my head firmly and step back, putting distance between us.


    ‘No! You don’t get to come into my home and talk to me the way you did today. The two of you have insulted me, and you’ve insulted the man I love. So I’m going for a walk right now. I’ll be out for about an hour. When I get back, the two of you will be gone. Go back home, think about what I said, and let me know what you decide.’


    I take a deep breath and swiftly step forward, giving them both a quick peck on the cheek. They are both too dumbfounded to respond.


    ‘Goodbye,’ I say, realizing this may very well be the last time I ever see them. Then I walk straight out the door and don’t look back.


    As soon as I step outside, I turn left and take a walk across the terrain of the ranch. It’s pretty cold outside, so I walk at a brisk pace to stay warm. The cold November air helps me clear my head. I feel strangely relieved. I should have stood up to my parents a long time ago! I wonder what they will decide. What’s going to be more important to them? Their daughter, or the strict religious values they uphold and I’m no longer willing to meet?


    I stay out longer than I planned, walking for almost two hours, instead of one. When I return home, my parents are indeed gone. I’m glad they left. Part of me feared that they would still be waiting for me, and I’m not sure I have it in me to go for a second round with them today. Right now, all I want to do is fix things with Jake. I stupidly forgot to grab my phone before I stormed out, so I couldn’t call him while I was out walking. Although it’s probably better that I waited until I got back home anyway, since we don’t always have great reception out on the ranch. I quickly grab my phone and sit down on the couch, taking a deep breath before I dial Jake’s number.


    He doesn’t answer.