Chapter 32


    Jake


    When I pull up to our house, I see only Nate’s bike and Hugo’s Mercedes parked out front. That likely means Lily and Cooper are still out on their hike. Good. Fewer people to pester me with questions.


    I don’t bother taking off my boots or coat as I march straight inside. From the sounds in the living room, I can tell Hugo and Nate are watching TV, but I don’t greet them or even look their way. I stomp through the kitchen and head directly to my bedroom.


    Once there, I strip off all my clothes, tossing them into a corner, and step into the shower. I turn the water on so hot it nearly scalds my skin, but I relish the discomfort.


    FUCK! I slam my hand against the wall.


    How the fuck did I end up here? I’ve never wanted a girlfriend. Never! I always thought it would be annoying. The only good thing about it, or so it seemed to me, was always having someone around for sex. But since I was never short in that department anyway, I didn’t see the point of having a girlfriend. Whenever I looked at those sappy idiots in relationships—always having to pass up fun things to be with their girlfriends or wives—I swore that would never be me. I was absolutely certain I’d hate doing all that pathetic boyfriend stuff. Turns out, I fucking don’t.


    All the sappy caring, hand-holding, cuddling, coming up with nice dates, and getting her flowers—alright, I guess I never did get Amber flowers—but all those things I thought I’d hate about being a boyfriend? I fucking loved doing them! It turns out, all those sappy things aren’t so stupid anymore when you’re with the right girl. I actually liked doing things to make her happy. I loved seeing Amber’s face light up when we stepped into that piano bar. I enjoyed taking her to the mall after work and spending over an hour watching her pick out a pair of ear studs, seeing how giddy and proud she looked about getting her ears pierced.


    I loved getting to know her body so well that I now know exactly what she likes and how she responds to my moves. I know exactly how to bring her to a swift climax or keep her teetering on the edge, depending on the mood. It makes sex with Amber unbelievably fucking good—better than I ever thought was even possible. And I loved being able to hold her and lean on her for comfort when I was feeling all sorts of fucked up about Zane.


    I’m not sure how long I’ve been standing motionless in the shower when Hugo knocks on the door to ask if I’m alright. I tell him to fuck off. When I finally turn off the faucet—fuck knows how much later—the entire bathroom is filled with steam. I drag out the process of toweling off and getting dressed, dreading the moment I’ll have to face my brothers. They’re inevitably going to ask questions, and I’m just not in the mood to answer any right now. But once I’m in a pair of sweats and a clean sweater, I’ve run out of excuses to avoid them. I know my brothers well enough to be sure they’ll barge in here sooner or later if I don’t come out.


    Taking a deep breath, I head towards the kitchen, grab a beer from the fridge, and make my way to the living room. Hugo’s in his favorite spot in the corner of the couch, watching a Netflix documentary, while Nate sits in the nearby chair, reading a book with his legs draped over the armrest. I plop down next to Hugo, fixing my gaze on the screen and ignoring their inquiring glances.


    It looks like Hugo’s watching a documentary on the Revolutionary War. Not really my thing, but I doubt I’ll absorb much of it anyway. Nate lowers his book to his lap, raising his eyebrows at me. I ignore him. Next to me, Hugo clears his throat, but I take a sip of my beer and ignore him too. After a few minutes, Hugo pauses the documentary and turns to face me.


    ‘What’s going on, Jake?’ he asks.


    ‘Nothing.’ I refuse to look at them, but I don’t miss the glance Hugo and Nate exchange. They clearly don’t know what to do with me. Well, that makes fucking three of us, doesn’t it? Because I sure as hell don’t know what to do with myself right now.


    ‘Weren’t you supposed to be teaching Amber how to ride a horse?’ Nate asks tentatively.


    ‘Yep,’ I reply curtly. I take another sip of my beer and nod towards the TV. ‘Turn the fucking TV back on.’


    It’s much easier to keep your eyes fixed on the screen when there’s actually something happening there. But of course, Hugo won''t do me that fucking courtesy.


    ‘Okay, so where is she? Did she have an accident or something? Did you bury her body and come here for an alibi before Ray finds out?’ Nate asks, shifting slightly in his seat to look at me.


    ‘Very fucking funny,’ I snap back. I’d told them what happened with Amber on the day I was promoted to foreman.


    ‘Who says I’m joking?’ Nate deadpans.


    ‘Amber stayed at the ranch.’


    ‘She didn’t want to come back with you?’ Hugo asks, surprised.


    ‘I thought you guys were having dinner with us tonight?’ Nate adds with a slight frown.


    ‘I am. She’s not.’


    ‘Quit being so stubborn, Jake. Tell us what’s wrong,’ Hugo says, sounding genuinely concerned.


    ‘Is the happy couple having a little fight?’ Nate smirks slightly, trying to break the tension. ‘What the fuck did you do, Jake?’


    ‘Nothing,’ I snap. ‘There is no happy couple. We had some fun. Now we''re done.’If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    ‘What do you mean?’ Hugo frowns.


    ‘Exactly what I said. We’re not a fucking couple.’


    Hugo and Nate both sit up straighter, exchanging glances before turning to look at me in disbelief.


    ‘I call bullshit!’ Nate declares with incredulous eyes.


    ‘Call it whatever you want. It’s true.’


    ‘I don’t believe you for a second,’ Hugo says, shaking his head at me. ‘We all saw the way you two act around each other. Honestly, it was sweet to the point of being obnoxious. There’s definitely more going on between you two than just having some fun.’


    ‘I agree,’ Nate nods. ‘That much was obvious to all of us.’


    ‘I thought so too, but apparently I was wrong,’ I say curtly.


    ‘Screw that! I don’t believe that for a second either,’ Nate exclaims. ‘Amber’s cute, she seemed really nice, and she’s definitely into you, Jake.’


    ‘I’ve never seen you like that with a girl before,’ Hugo says, studying my face. ‘The way you were treating her yesterday—it seemed like you were really in love with her. I know you’ve been with your fair share of women, but I’ve never seen you so happy and caring with one before. You looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world to you. All sweet and protective. Kind of like how we all look at Lily, but different, you know?’


    ‘Gross!’ Nate exclaims with a loud groan, sending Hugo a revolting look.


    ‘That is disgusting, man!’ I agree vehemently with Nate. ‘Lily is our sister!’


    ‘I said: different!’ Hugo shouts back defensively, raising his hands in surrender.


    ‘Still gross,’ Nate scowls at him, but then he concedes, ‘but I do know what you mean. You clearly care for Amber, Jake.’


    ‘Doesn’t matter,’ I reply, staring at the bottle in my hand, not being able to look at my brothers. ‘Whatever there was between us is over.’


    ‘But why, all of a sudden?’ Hugo asks, confused. ‘Amber seemed great! She spent the entire day baking stuff for Lily yesterday—a girl she doesn’t even know—just because she’s your sister. And then you two were all over each other yesterday and this morning.’


    ‘And last night,’ Nate mutters with a meaningful smirk.


    ‘What I’m saying is that you clearly like her, Jake. You even called her “your girl” yesterday. I’ve never heard you call anyone that before, so why did you change your mind?’


    ‘I didn’t,’ I answer with a clenched jaw. ‘She did.’


    I bring the bottle to my lips again, while Hugo and Nate exchange another glance. They still seemed puzzled. Well, join the fucking club!


    ‘What do you mean?’ Hugo asks tentatively.


    ‘Amber made it very clear today that she doesn’t think there’s anything serious going on between us. To her, I''m just a coworker who she fucked a couple of times. Nothing more. She certainly doesn’t see me as her fucking boyfriend.’


    ‘But that’s what you want to be?’ Nate asks tentatively.


    I don’t answer him, but that in itself is enough of an answer for my brothers.


    ‘Are you really sure this is how she feels?’ Nate asks again, hesitantly.


    ‘She told me so herself,’ I say curtly.


    ‘Damn…’ Nate says surprised, falling back against his armrest. ‘I honestly didn’t see that coming. I’m sorry, Jake, that fucking sucks!’


    ‘What are you going to do now, Jake?’ Hugo asks me cautiously.


    ‘What do you mean?’ I ask.


    ‘You seem hurt,’ Hugo admits. ‘I just want to make sure you’re not going to do something impulsive. Like, retaliate, because Amber hurt your feelings, or anything like that?’


    ‘What? Fuck, no!’ I reply sharply as I snap my head in Hugo’s direction. I stare at him in disbelief. How could he even think that?


    ‘Okay, okay! Good… I’m sorry,’ Hugo says quickly, raising his hands in surrender again when he sees my face. ‘I just wanted to make sure. Some people lash out when they’re hurt. And I don''t think I’ve ever seen you hurt by a girl before.’


    ‘Fuck yeah, I’m hurt! But that doesn''t mean I want to hurt Amber back, you asshole!’ I reply furiously. As soon as I say it, I know it’s true. I might be hurting, but I''m still in love with Amber. Even though she doesn’t return my feelings in the same way, I would never want to see her get hurt by anyone, including me.


    ‘So, what are you going to do then?’ Nate asks.


    I stare at my younger brother, pondering that for a moment. I haven’t really thought about it yet. Honestly? I’ve been in this situation several times, but I was always on the other end. I’ve slept with girls who eventually wanted more from me than I was willing to give. In those instances, I usually just cut off all contact. I never set out to hurt anyone—I’ve always been honest with women about my intentions. So as soon as a woman tried to make more out of our encounters than casual sex, I’d break it off. I’d just stop engaging with her, hoping she’d get the message. It was always a relief when they’d eventually stop calling and texting me. I guess I should extend that same courtesy to Amber.


    ‘A clean break, I guess,’ I sigh, disappointed. There’s no sense in dragging it out. If Amber doesn’t really want to be with me, it’s over. I don’t think I could handle going back to being casual with her. I’m not making it harder on myself than absolutely necessary. ‘I''m not going to see her anymore. Probably avoid her on the ranch too, as much as I can, anyway.’


    ‘That’s going to be tough,’ Nate says compassionately. ‘But it sounds like it may be for the best.’


    ‘You know I’ve never been a fan of dodging responsibilities, but maybe it wouldn’t be the worst idea for you to call in sick tomorrow,’ Hugo suggests, surprisingly kind. ‘Take a day to collect yourself and get over the worst of it. Some distance from Amber might do you some good.’


    ‘Who are you and what have you done to my brother?’ I stare at him in disbelief. This is coming from the guy who was ready to kick my teenage ass over skipping an hour or two in high school?


    ‘I’ve just never seen you this broken up about a woman before,’ Hugo says honestly, gently squeezing my shoulder. ‘I can’t say I like it very much. You’re a good guy, Jake. You deserve to be happy. It sucks that this happened to you, especially when you finally found a girl you actually care about.’


    ‘Thanks, Hugo,’ I say quietly. I stare at my beer again. I''m still hurt, but it feels good to know I can always count on my family for support.


    ‘You could come help out at one of the construction sites tomorrow to take your mind off things,’ Hugo offers. ‘I’m sure Cooper would be happy to have you on his crew for the day. Or I can find something for you to do at the warehouse.’


    ‘I might actually take you up on that,’ I say with a faint smile.


    It’s not the worst idea to create some physical distance between Amber and me. Maybe working with Hugo and Cooper for a day or two will help take my mind off her.


    ‘First, let’s get you another drink, shall we?’ Nate says, trying to lift my spirits. He earmarks his book and places it on the coffee table as he gets up. ‘I think this situation requires something a little stronger than beer.’


    Nate walks over to the dining room table and taps a panel hidden in the wall behind it—another one of our home projects. The panel smoothly rotates, revealing our collection of liquor and fancy drink glasses hidden behind it. Most of these were business gifts to Hugo. Nate grabs a bottle of expensive rum and pours me a glass, knowing it’s my drink of choice when I’m in the mood for something other than beer. When he walks back over, I finish the last sip of my beer and swap it for the glass he offers me.


    ‘Cheers,’ I say somberly.


    ‘Have a few of these. Block her number. Maybe head to Pete’s tonight and find another girl to distract yourself with,’ Nate advises, plopping back down in his chair. He grabs his book from the coffee table and continues reading. ‘I hope you feel better soon, man.’


    I take Nate’s advice, sipping from the rum as I pull my phone out of my pocket. My thumb hovers over Amber’s contact, but only for a brief moment. With a steady hand, I block her number. A clean break, I tell myself. But the thought of going to Pete’s tonight and hooking up with a random woman makes me feel sick. I don’t want another woman. I only want Amber.