Chapter 33


    Amber


    Jake ignores me for the rest of the day. I try calling him several times, but each time, I get a busy signal. Eventually, I text him, but the only response I get is an automated message saying that the message could not be delivered. A sinking feeling forms in my stomach as I realize this probably means he blocked my number. Jake must be even more upset with me than I thought, which means I need to talk to him as soon as possible. But without a car, I can''t just drive to his place. Not that it would help much. I''m not even sure I could find his house again without the exact address to plug into my GPS since I''ve only been there once. Throughout the evening, I step outside several times to check if Jake''s pickup is parked in front of his cabin. I know he sometimes drives back to the ranch on Sunday nights when he has an early morning on Monday, but tonight, his parking spot remains empty.


    On Monday, the children keep me quite busy. They''re all a bit cranky because the family came home later than expected on Sunday night, leaving them all short on sleep. I do my best to stay cheerful for them, but the situation with Jake keeps nagging at me. I keep things low-key with Violet and Olivia in the morning, avoiding any big activities. Instead, I just hang around the main house and the horse stable with them, hoping to run into Jake so we’ll get a chance to talk. But I don’t see him all day. When the ranch hands return to the barn in the afternoon, Jake is not with them. I manage to catch Nick alone for a second when he’s replacing a flat tire by himself.


    ‘Hey, Nick?’


    Nick is crouching down, working on removing the last of the lug nuts. He briefly glances over his shoulder when he hears my voice.


    ‘Oh, hi Amber,’ he greets me warmly, lifting his head in recognition but continuing to work.


    ‘Do you happen to know where Jake is?’ I ask, trying to sound as casual as possible.


    ‘He called in sick this morning. Stomach bug,’ Nick says. He comes out of his crouch, removes the flat tire, and lays it flat on the ground. Then, he glances over his shoulder towards me. ‘I figured you knew that.’


    ‘No, I did not.’


    ‘Is everything alright?’ Nick asks, his brow furrowing. He grabs the new tire and lifts it onto the wheel stud with precise movements.


    ‘Sure. I was just wondering why I hadn’t seen him with you guys,’ I lie, offering a faint smile. ‘I have to go. I''ll see you around.’ I turn quickly and walk away from him.


    ‘Yeah, see you around!’ Nick calls after me.


    Now I feel even worse. Somehow, I doubt that Jake is actually ill. But if he called in sick, he must really not want to see me. The thought of it guts me. All of this is such a stupid misunderstanding! I wish I could just talk to him and explain everything, but Jake won’t give me that chance. He doesn’t show up for work on Tuesday either. On Wednesday, he’s finally back, but I only catch a glimpse of him from a distance. I briefly notice him walking past the window of the house while I''m busy making breakfast for all the children. By the time I finally run outside, all the men are already gone. I don’t see Jake for the rest of the day. At night, I go over to his cabin, but everything is dark inside. His pickup isn’t there either, so I guess he’s gone home for the night. I’m starting to feel desperate. I want nothing more than to fix everything between us. I want to tell Jake that I didn’t mean to hurt him. That I simply hadn’t realized his feelings towards me had changed, but that, of course—of course!—I feel the same way about him. I’m completely in love with him.


    But Jake seems determined to stay away from me, because Thursday morning follows the same routine as Wednesday. I see him briefly through the window when he arrives, but before I have a chance to intercept him, he’s already gone. It seems like Jake has assigned himself only tasks that will keep him away from the main house, because all the jobs around here are done by the other men.


    No matter how desperately I want to fix things with Jake, on Thursday afternoon, I have something else to do. Ray told us that Zane can have visitors now at the hospital. Marjorie offered to stay home with Violet and Olivia in the afternoon, so I can visit Zane before I pick up Fiona, Tom, and Benjamin from school. A little nervous, I follow the GPS directions to the hospital. Inside, I get lost twice, but eventually, a friendly nurse guides me to the right room. Hesitant, I knock on the door. After what Jake told me, I’m not sure whether Zane will want to see me. But when he notices me, his eyes widen, and a bright smile spreads across his face.


    ‘Amber! What a nice surprise!’


    ‘Hi, Zane,’ I smile at him from the doorway.


    He’s sitting up on his bed with his legs stretched out in front of him. His left leg is in a cast, and he’s wearing a black t-shirt with a “Rox&Rolling” band logo on it. The room has two beds, but the second one is empty. Zane notices me glancing at it and laughs.


    ‘My roommate got discharged this morning and I didn’t get a new one yet, so I have the place to myself today.’ He spreads his arms. ‘Welcome to my private healing hut,’ he jokes.


    ‘Not too shabby,’ I grin as I walk towards him. ‘How are you feeling?’


    ‘Better than yesterday, hopefully worse than tomorrow. I''ll be fine, though,’ Zane says reassuringly.


    ‘Are you fine enough yet for a hug?’ I ask tentatively, unsure if he’ll want one from me. But I don’t have to worry. Zane immediately spreads his arms, his smile widening.


    ‘From you? Always! Especially if that box holds what I think it does,’ he replies, nodding towards the container of cookies I brought for him. I baked them with Violet and Olivia this morning, and the girls even added a drawing inside the box for Zane.


    ‘You didn’t think I’d dare to visit you without cookies, did you?’ I laugh. I set the container on his nightstand before I lean in for a hug. I try to go in gently, but Zane easily wraps his long arms around me and hugs me so tightly that I can actually feel him wince against me.


    ‘Be careful!’ I scold him. ‘You just had major surgery!’


    ‘Worth it,’ Zane replies with a smirk.


    ‘Are you in a lot of pain?’ I ask him sympathetically. I grab the chair near the wall and pull it up next to his bed.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    ‘It’s not too bad,’ he shrugs. ‘They’ve got me on painkillers. Though I don’t really like how groggy they make me, so I try to only take one before I sleep. I don’t want to end up with a drug addiction after all this,’ he says, making a face at me.


    ‘I get that, but please don’t overdo it. The doctors are prescribing them for a reason. Being in pain all the time can’t be good for you either,’ I reply, scrunching my nose, my voice laced with concern.


    ‘I take them when I really need to. I promise,’ Zane assures me.


    ‘Good, that’s good,’ I nod, my eyes scanning over his body. I can’t see his stomach with his shirt on, but the cast on his leg goes all the way up to his thigh.


    ‘Broken in three places,’ Zane informs me, catching my gaze. ‘It’ll take at least a couple of months of rehab before I’m back to full strength and capacity.’


    ‘I guess that means we’ll have to miss you on the ranch for a while,’ I say regretfully.


    ‘If I come back at all.’


    ‘What? You’re not going to quit, are you?’ I ask shocked as I jerk upright.


    ‘No, of course not,’ Zane shakes his head. ‘But Ray might fire me.’


    ‘Don’t be silly! Ray’s not going to fire you for being injured!’ I say, absolutely convinced. Ray is a good man and a great boss—there’s no way he’d do that. But Zane gives me an incredulous look.


    ‘He might, Amber, and he’d have every right to do so,’ he says with a frown. He leans back against his pillow but continues holding my gaze. ‘He fired Gary and Walter too, for endangering your life.’


    ‘That was completely different. This was an accident!’


    ‘No, it wasn’t! This was my fault for acting stupid,’ Zane says harshly. ‘I ignored my foreman’s orders and didn’t listen to his warnings. By doing that, I endangered my own life, the lives of my coworkers, and put the horses and Ray’s herd at risk. That’s definitely a fireable offense.’


    ‘Has Ray said anything about firing you?’ I ask, feeling a knot tighten in my stomach. I can’t shake the feeling that somehow, I’m responsible for this.


    ‘I haven’t spoken to him yet,’ Zane says, shaking his head. ‘He was here on Saturday, and then again on Monday night, but both times I was still pretty out of it from the painkillers. He’s coming back tomorrow afternoon. I guess he’ll let me know what he decides then,’ Zane sighs, looking down. ‘I really hope he lets me come back. Ray runs a great ranch, and I love working for him. Jake said he’d put in a good word for me, though, so I guess there’s still some hope.’


    ‘You talked to Jake?’ I ask him, surprised.


    ‘Yeah, he came by Tuesday night. He wanted to check on me and talk things through,’ Zane says, his tone neutral.


    ‘And did you?’ I ask carefully. Jake told me why Zane was angry with him, but I’m not sure if Zane knows that I know about it.


    ‘We’re good,’ Zane nods, but then he shifts his gaze to me, studying me closely. ‘And how about you, Amber? How are you holding up?’


    ‘I''m fine.’


    ‘Are you sure?’ Zane asks gently, his brow furrowing with concern. ‘I know you two were seeing each other, but Jake mentioned that you’re not together anymore.’


    ‘Oh.’ I blush, my gaze dropping to the floor as I struggle to find the right words.


    ‘Do you want me to beat him up for you? It may take a little while before I’m back in any shape to do so, but I’ll get it done if you can wait it out a couple of months. Just because Jake and I set things straight, doesn''t mean I won''t beat him up for hurting you.’


    Zane says it lightly, but there’s a serious undertone in his joke that suggests he would definitely beat up Jake if I asked him to. Or try to, at least, because I’m pretty sure that Jake is physically stronger than Zane.


    ‘No, don''t do that,’ I say quickly, and a bit shocked. ‘You should never do something like that!’


    ‘I may have to,’ Zane says, surprisingly calm. ‘I told Jake I would, if he ever hurt you, and I want to be a man of my word.’ He pauses, watching me closely. ‘I assume Jake has told you why I was angry with him?’


    ‘He may have mentioned that you have a little crush on me,’ I admit, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. I hadn’t planned on bringing this up to Zane.


    ‘Jake is a fucking idiot,’ Zane snorts, rolling his eyes. ‘I don’t have a little crush on you, Amber. I’m in love with you.’


    He says it so matter-of-factly that I’m left staring at him, completely speechless. Zane looks at me serenely, as if he’s merely commented on the weather rather than confessed his feelings for me.


    ‘I…’ I begin hesitantly, but then I let out a sigh. ‘I’m in love with Jake, Zane.’


    ‘Yeah, I know,’ he nods easily.


    ‘I’m so sorry,’ I murmur, looking at him apologetically.


    ‘What are you sorry for? We don’t choose who we fall in love with,’ Zane shrugs. ‘So what went wrong between you two? How did he hurt you?’


    ‘Jake didn’t hurt me,’ I defend him quickly, shaking my head. I stare down at my hands, feeling the weight of everything on my shoulders. ‘It was the other way around. It wasn’t my intention, but I think I really hurt him.’


    ‘Knowing you, I’m sure you didn’t mean to,’ Zane says in a friendly tone, grabbing two tangerines from the bowl on the nightstand next to his bed and offering me one. ‘Tell me what happened.’


    I want to tell him no. I want to tell Zane that he’s the one in the hospital bed, the one who just suffered a massive injury and underwent major surgery. I want to tell him that he is the patient and I should be here for him, not the other way around. But instead, I hear myself telling Zane everything that happened from the moment my parents showed up this weekend. I talk for about fifteen minutes straight, leaving nothing out. Zane just sits there, listening patiently as I pour my heart out to him.


    ‘And he just blocked your number?’ Zane asks, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. He pityingly shakes his head. ‘I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Jake is a fucking idiot! If there’s one thing he should have learned from what happened with me, it’s that talking things out is always better than letting it all fester.’


    ‘I just wish I could talk to him,’ I sigh. ‘Explain everything and set things straight between us.’


    ‘Well…’ Zane glances over at the windowsill where his phone is charging. ‘You can call him with my phone, if you want. As far as I know, he hasn’t blocked my number.’


    ‘Are you serious?’ I stare at him, my jaw nearly hitting the floor.


    ‘Sure, go ahead,’ he shrugs.


    ‘Why would you even offer that? Why would you try to help me get back together with Jake?’ I ask, narrowing my eyes at him suspiciously.


    ‘Because you’re in love with him, and I want you to be happy,’ Zane says, his tone gentle.


    There’s something in his eyes that almost makes me cry. Part of me wishes I could be in love with Zane. He’s the kindest, sweetest, most selfless person I’ve ever met. And, honestly, he’s attractive too, even if he’s a few years younger than me. I wish I could return his feelings, but when I look at him, all I feel is friendship.


    I feel awful for making this visit all about my problems with Jake while Zane’s lying in a hospital bed, harboring feelings for me. Apparently, my face gives me away, because Zane suddenly bursts into laughter.


    ‘Stop looking so guilty, Amber,’ he chuckles. ‘I’m fine! I’m eighteen, so chances are I’ll fall in love again someday. It might take me a while to get over you, because you’re pretty damn amazing, but I will get over you,’ he promises, his tone sincere. ‘I just hope we can still be friends after everything.’


    ‘I would like that very much,’ I say from the bottom of my heart. I reach out for his hand and give it a firm squeeze.


    ‘Then, as your friend, I''m telling you that you should use my phone to call Jake and talk some sense into him,’ Zane encourages me. He leans sideways towards the windowsill, wincing slightly as a flash of pain makes his face twist. He reaches for his phone, but I stop him with my hand on his arm and I shake my head.


    ‘No, Zane. I don’t want you getting caught up in this too,’ I say firmly. ‘But thank you, really. You’re such a good friend.’ I glance at the clock on the wall, then stand with a sigh. ‘I actually need to go now. School’s about to let out, and I have to pick up the kids.’


    ‘Sure,’ Zane smiles. ‘Thank you for coming by.’


    ‘Can I visit you again?’ I ask.


    ‘Absolutely,’ Zane nods, then hesitates. ‘Maybe… maybe just give me a couple of weeks? You know, so I can get through the worst of it?’ He looks down at his hands, sounding a little helpless.


    ‘Yeah, I can do that,’ I say with a gentle smile. ‘Tell you what. Why don’t you text me when you’re ready? I’ll drop whatever I’m doing and come right over with a fresh batch of whatever cookies you’re craving most,’ I suggest warmly.


    ‘Deal,’ Zane smiles back at me, though his eyes seem a little sad.


    ‘I hope you feel better soon, Zane.’


    I lean forward to give him a one-armed hug and press a quick kiss to his cheek before walking out of his hospital room. I’m relieved he’ll be okay. But as I head back to the parking lot, my mind immediately shifts back to Jake. There has to be a way to fix things between us. How can I make it absolutely clear that I love him too?


    I get into the minivan, plug my phone into the integrated system, and prepare to make the call. There''s one trump card I haven''t played yet—it''s time to bring out the big guns.