Chapter 34


    Jake


    I’ve managed to avoid Amber all week, but it hasn’t done a fucking thing. I still think about her every second of the day. Two days of working construction with Cooper were enough to make me run back to the ranch. But even there, everyone kept asking about Amber. I guess that’s my fault, for letting my feelings for her show last week. After two days of dodging the topic, they finally took the hint and stopped pestering me about it.


    On Friday, I went to the hospital with Ray to visit Zane. The kid was scared he was going to get fired, but I talked it over with Ray and convinced him to give Zane another chance. Zane’s a good kid, and a hard worker—it’d be a shame to lose him over one mistake, especially when I had a hand in it too. Zane gave me a couple of funny looks at the hospital, but he didn’t say anything. He was friendly, albeit a bit more reserved than before the whole mess with Amber.


    But today, at home, there’s not much to distract me. Lily dragged Hugo to the mall for some early Christmas shopping, and Cooper and Nate are off to a motorcycle exposition where Nate’s hoping to gain some contacts for his side hustle. Both sets of siblings invited me to tag along, but I’m not in the mood. Instead, I end up outside all day, working alone to build the banister for the porch. By the time everyone returns, I’m nearly finished.


    I don’t stick around to wrap things up though. Instead, I head straight to the bathroom for a long shower, wanting to avoid the others and their cheerfulness. I take my time, but even after getting dressed, I still can’t bring myself to join them. I fall back onto my bed, folding my hands behind my head to stare at the ceiling.


    Fucking hell, this is torture! I thought that cutting things off with Amber would make it easier to get over her, but now it feels like I’m suffocating in my own thoughts. Every part of me is longing for her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that shit.


    After a while, I hear someone knock on the door. I don’t answer, but the door swings open anyway, and Lily walks in. She jumps onto the bed beside me.


    ‘Brought you dinner,’ she says, dangling a bowl of chili con carne over my head.


    ‘Sensed I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone, did you?’ I hum, but I sit up and take the bowl from her. I skipped lunch today, and as soon as the smell hits me, I realize just how hungry I really am.


    ‘No, we just wanted to have a nice dinner, and your sour face would have ruined our appetite,’ Lily deadpans. ‘I drew the short straw when we were deciding who’d risk their head being bitten off by bringing you the leftovers.’


    ‘Very funny.’


    I pretend to bite in her direction, but Lily just rolls her eyes with a smirk. She sits beside me on the bed in silence while I devour my dinner. I’d completely lost track of time. I had no idea dinner had even passed me by. Once I finish, I put the empty bowl on my nightstand and lie back down with my knees pulled up, resuming my staring contest with the ceiling. I don’t bother trying to send Lily away. It’s pointless—she comes and goes as she pleases. It takes about three minutes longer than I expected until she finally asks the inevitable question.


    ‘Jake? What happened with you and Amber?’


    ‘I don’t want to talk about it, Lil,’ I sigh.


    ‘We left you alone all week.’


    ‘I already told Hugo and Nate about it on Sunday.’


    ‘Fine, I left you alone all week,’ Lily corrects, rolling her eyes at me.


    ‘I still don’t want to talk about it.’


    ‘No fair,’ Lily says as she pouts her lips. ‘I told you about Tyler, didn’t I?’


    ‘No, who’s Tyler?’ I ask, turning my full attention to her. I raise my eyebrows in question, genuinely curious.


    ‘That guy from school, from the movie night,’ Lily replies with a small blush. ‘I really like him, and I think he likes me too.’


    ‘He’d be stupid not to.’ I manage a faint smile. ‘Tell me about him,’ I urge her.


    ‘I will, after you tell me about you and Amber,’ Lily counters quickly—too quickly. She looks at me expectantly.


    ‘You’re an unreasonably good manipulator for your age, Lily Thompson,’ I groan, scowling at her.


    ‘I know,’ Lily replies smugly, patting my leg in consolation. ‘Don’t worry, I do it to all of you. So, come on, spill!’


    ‘Honestly? There’s not much to say,’ I sigh, gazing at the ceiling again. ‘It just didn''t work out between us.’


    ‘Uh, you were here last weekend, weren’t you?’ Lily frowns skeptically. ‘You guys were all over each other. You even told me how much you liked her!’


    ‘I’m in love with her,’ I confess to my little sister, feeling a stab of pain in my chest.


    ‘See! So what happened on Sunday? When Cooper and I left, you guys were all lovey-dovey, and by the time we came back, you’d broken up and locked yourself in your room. And don’t just tell me she doesn’t want to be with you. Give me the full story,’ Lily demands.


    I let out a deep sigh. It''s not exactly fun, sharing your massive rejection with your baby sister.


    ‘Amber’s parents came to the ranch,’ I begin reluctantly. ‘I went over to her quarters to introduce myself to them, and that’s when I heard Amber tell her parents that I wasn’t her boyfriend, just some guy who works at the ranch. I left after that, and Amber came after me, but only to make it clear again that she doesn’t consider me her boyfriend.’


    ‘Oh, wow…’ Lily mutters, looking at me with compassion. ‘That really sucks balls, Jakey. It’s no wonder you’re taking this so hard! The first time you officially ask a woman to be your girlfriend, and then she betrays you like that. That’s awful!’


    ‘Yeah. Well…’ I suddenly frown. ‘I mean, I never formally asked her to be my girlfriend or anything. It’s not like we’re in high school. No offense,’ I quickly glance at Lily. ‘Things just sort of naturally evolved between us.’


    ‘Yeah, okay. I get that,’ Lily nods seriously, seeming not offended. ‘Anyway, it’s still a dick move on her part.’


    ‘Definitely,’ I agree wholeheartedly.


    ‘Even if you didn’t put a label on it, you guys talked about things being more serious between you two. You agreed on being together, instead of just casually hooking up. It’s not cool of her to betray you like that,’ Lily gently squeezes my knee, consoling me.


    I frown slightly as I glance at my sister.


    ‘Yeah. I mean… Sure,’ I say hesitantly. ‘Although, I guess we… We never really had an actual talk about it. As I said, things between us just naturally evolved from being casual into something more serious. It just happened.’


    Lily stares at me with piercing eyes, but her expression remains remarkably neutral. She pouts her lips, as if deep in thought, and suddenly I’m not so sure I’m going to like what comes out of her mouth next.


    ‘I see,’ she says after a pause. Then, she suddenly offers me a comforting smile and pats my knee again. ‘Even so, it was still pretty horrible of Amber to say that she wasn’t serious about you, especially after you told her you’re in love with her.’If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    I bite my bottom lip and avert my gaze. Fuck. Lily clearly senses something, because suddenly she’s no longer patting my knee, but pinching it tightly.


    ‘Jake?’ she asks in a threatening tone. She glares at me, and I know she’ll see the guilt in my eyes as soon as I meet her gaze. ‘You did tell Amber how you feel about her, right? You told her that you love her?’


    ‘I… I guess I may not have actually said that to her. In words. Out loud,’ I finally admit.


    ‘Jaaake!’ Lily groans, dragging out my name. She cringes as she buries her face in her palm.


    ‘She hasn’t said it to me either!’ I reply in a weak attempt to defend myself.


    ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ Lily exclaims, her anger rising. She grabs the second pillow from my bed and smacks me with it.


    ‘Hey, stop! Knock it off!’ I protest. I try to grab it from her, but Lily is too fast.


    ‘How the hell was Amber supposed to know you wanted things to be more than casual if you never told her, you dickhead?’ she yells. ‘When you first met, you literally told her you never wanted a girlfriend! How the fuck was she supposed to know you suddenly decided to be Mr. Commitment if you didn’t even bother to tell her that? Or even tell her you love her? What did she say when she came after you? Did you tell her then?’


    ‘N-no…’


    ‘Okay, so what did she say to you afterwards? When you spoke to her this week?’


    ‘I just… I haven’t really spoken to her since Sunday. I kind of… sorta… just drove away,’ I mutter, my face turning bright red.


    ‘Jaaaake…!’ Lily groans, exasperated, lifting her eyes to the ceiling.


    My face flushes even deeper.


    ‘I talked about it with Hugo and Nate, and they both agreed that it would probably be best to make a clean break,’ I mumble, my gaze dropping in embarrassment. ‘So…’ I hesitate.


    ‘So…?’ Lily presses, her tone ominous.


    ‘So I blocked her number and avoided talking to her all week,’ I groan, covering my face with my hands, suddenly feeling like the biggest fucking idiot in the world.


    My words are followed by three seconds of deadly silence. Then Lily  grabs my pillow and starts beating me with it again. Hard.


    ‘ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME?’ she yells, emphasizing each word with a smack of the pillow. ‘I love you, but you are a fucking idiot, Jake! And so are Hugo and Nate, if that’s the advice they gave you—telling you to block Amber instead of talking to her and telling her how you really feel.’


    I haven’t even told her about Nate’s advice to go to Pete’s and hook up with someone else. Thank fuck I didn’t do that!


    ‘Apparently, everything goes to hell the second I step out of this house!’ Lily continues, exasperated.


    ‘How did you suddenly get so smart about all this stuff?’ I ask Lily, finally managing to wrest the pillow from her hands and toss it on the floor as I sit up.


    ‘That’s not news, Jake. I’ve always been smart,’ Lily shrugs, not a trace of humility in her voice. ‘Maybe try paying a little more attention.’


    ‘Fuck,’ I sigh, then again, louder. ‘FUCK! I completely fucked this up! I acted exactly the way I told Amber I would—like a casual asshole, instead of her boyfriend. I ghosted her when I should’ve just talked to her,’ I groan, finally realizing the extent of my stupidity.


    ‘No shit, Sherlock,’ Lily remarks dryly.


    ‘Yeah, okay! I''m new at this whole commitment thing, alright? I know I fucked it up, big time. No need to be an ass about it,’ I warn her, scowling.


    ‘Sorry,’ Lily mumbles apologetically, though she makes no effort to hide her smirk.


    ‘FUCK! Amber is probably pissed as hell at me right now,’ I groan, letting myself fall back on the bed. ‘I blew up at her, she probably has no idea why, and then I ignored her all fucking week. She probably doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore!’


    ‘Well, maybe you could actually find out?’ Lily suggests. ‘Sitting here, guessing what she’s feeling or thinking, isn’t going to get you anywhere.’


    ‘You’re right,’ I agree, sitting up straight and frantically searching for my phone. As soon as I unblock Amber’s number, I call her. I don’t even care that Lily’s listening in. It rings, but there’s no answer. I dial again, but get the same result.


    ‘Fuck!’ I curse loudly, tossing my phone back on the bed.


    ‘Okay, so she’s not answering. What are you going to do now?’ Lily asks, arching her eyebrows as if she’s challenging me.


    ‘I’m going to the ranch to talk to her. See if I can still fix this,’ I reply, already scrambling out of bed.


    ‘Good answer,’ Lily nods approvingly. ‘But maybe put on some decent clothes first?’ she suggests mildly, with a hint of amusement.


    I glance down at my worn-out sweats with holes in them and my sweatshirt with a fresh chili stain on it. I curse again and rush towards my closet. Unbothered by Lily’s presence, I start changing out of my old clothes, grabbing a fresh pair of jeans and a clean shirt.


    ‘Not that one. Wear the cream-fitted one,’ Lily orders. ‘You look really good in that, and you might need all the help you can get tonight.’


    I don’t even question her, but I just do as she says. I can''t even think straight anymore. I need to get to Amber! As soon as I get dressed, I plop down on the bed next to Lily and put my sneakers on.


    ‘Great, let’s go,’ Lily nods approvingly as she pats my shoulder. She gets up from my bed, putting her phone back in her pocket.


    ‘What? You’re not coming!’ I exclaim, surprised.


    ‘Of course I am. I’m going to drive you. You’re all over the place right now, Jakey. You’re going to wrap yourself around a tree if you drive in this state,’ Lily replies, sternly shaking her head at me.


    I don’t have the patience to argue with her, so I give her a single nod before racing towards the kitchen. My brothers barely glance up as I run past them, with Lily following at a much calmer pace.


    ‘Jake is going to get Amber back,’ Lily explains casually.


    ‘Well, hallelujah,’ Cooper mumbles, sipping his coffee while scrolling on his phone.


    ‘Can we take your car, Herc?’ Lily asks. ‘It’s faster than the truck, and we have a relationship to salvage.’


    ‘Has hell frozen over?’ Hugo replies calmly, not even looking up from the newspaper he''s reading.


    ‘Come on, Lily. Hurry up! We’ll just take my truck,’ I say impatiently, tossing her my keys. They miss her by almost three feet. Yeah, okay, maybe Lily has a point, and I shouldn’t be driving right now.


    The drive to the ranch feels like it takes forever. I try calling Amber four more times from the car, but she still isn’t answering. I leave her a message, apologizing and asking her to call me back so we can talk. I don’t want to do this over text. I just hope I haven’t screwed this up so badly that she never wants to see me again. When Lily finally parks the truck next to the main house, I jump out and race towards Amber’s door. I knock several times, but there’s no answer. When I try the handle, I find the door locked. Amber’s not here.


    Fuck! I run my hands through my hair in frustration. Where the hell could she be? I walk slowly back to the truck, my mind racing with places to look for her, but nothing comes to mind. Amber’s been with me or at the ranch most of the time, especially since she doesn’t have a car yet.


    ‘That was fast,’ Lily says, raising her eyebrows when I climb back into the passenger seat.


    ‘Amber wasn’t home,’ I sigh, pressing my fists against my eyes for a moment before I punch the dashboard. ‘Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!’


    ‘I’m sorry, Jake,’ Lily says, her voice soft with sympathy. She gently squeezes my shoulder. ‘Do you have any idea where she could be?’


    ‘No, I don’t have a fucking clue,’ I admit desperately. I rack my brain, trying to think of something. ‘She could be at her cousin’s, maybe? I know she’s been at Hailey’s place before, on weekends.’


    ‘Okay, so… What do you want to do? Do you want to go over there?’ Lily asks me.


    ‘I don’t know where Hailey lives,’ I sigh. ‘I fucking don’t know anything anymore. All I know is that I need to talk to Amber, like, yesterday!’


    Okay, well, until you figure out a way to do that, we need a plan,’ Lily says determinedly. ‘We’re not just going back home. You’re not going to sit and sulk around, driving yourself crazy all night. We’ll just go somewhere to take your mind off things. And if you do end up getting in touch with Amber tonight, I will drive you to wherever she is.’


    I sigh tiredly and rub my eyes. I’m not really in the mood to go anywhere, but twiddling my thumbs at home isn''t an appealing thought either.


    ‘Fine. Where do you want to go?’ I ask Lily weary.


    ‘Anywhere,’ Lily shrugs. Then her face lights up. ‘Why don’t we go to that piano bar you mentioned? That sounded pretty cool!’


    ‘Yeah, sure. Why not,’ I say, unperturbed.


    My old truck doesn’t have a GPS, so I use Google Maps to find the address and give Lily directions. She actually seems excited to go, even though I’m not exactly the best company right now. On the way to Madison, I try calling Amber a few more times, but she still won’t pick up. By the time we arrive at Piano & Pour, I’m feeling completely miserable. It doesn’t look like Amber is going to forgive me anytime soon, and I can’t even blame her.


    The bouncer eyes Lily suspiciously at first, but after we explain that she’s my sister and acting as my designated driver, he lets her in with me. She does have to get a stamp on her hand to show she’s a minor, so she can’t order any alcohol, but that’s not an issue. The place is packed tonight, but Lily manages to find us a table with a decent view of the stage. When the waitress comes by, we both order soft drinks. I’m not drinking anything alcoholic—just in case I manage to get a hold of Amber later. I need to keep my head clear if I have any hope of winning her back. After Lily tucks her phone away, she looks around the room with interest.


    ‘This place is really nice, Jake! And the pianist is great,’ she comments, impressed, nodding at the man on stage who’s accompanying three singing women.


    ‘Yeah, I guess,’ I mumble, not really paying attention. I don’t know enough about piano music to judge his skills, but he sounds fine to me. Amber seemed to think he was good, though. I check my phone for the fiftieth time tonight. Still no returned calls, and no new messages from Amber. I sigh in frustration and rub my forehead.


    ‘Not a fan of this one? Maybe you’ll like the next one better,’ Lily deadpans.


    ‘The next one?’


    Last week, there was only one pianist. I glance at Lily, but she simply nods towards the stage. Confused, I follow her gaze. To my surprise, I see the pianist rising from the bench, and another, much smaller figure taking his place behind the grand piano. She tucks her blonde curls behind her ears and runs her fingers smoothly over the piano keys, just like I’ve seen her do on the keyboard I gifted her. Then she begins playing a tender melody that’s all too familiar to me, her beautiful, angelic voice rising effortlessly to meet the notes.