The next night Carlos threw a house party. He lived in the upper north side of town where Alyssa and I lived. This would be the largest party of the summer. It grew so big that the cops had to come and shut it down. That rarely happened.
I didn’t want to be picked up by Cody. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to be around Emily. I arrived by myself as the house was close to mine and could walk.
Everyone was at this party. And when I mean everyone I mean everyone. Every high schooler in Darkwood, others from the neighboring towns, and some from Seattle. Megan and Amanda were there. I was hoping for them to start trouble with me. I wanted to hit someone.
As much as I tried to avoid Cody, it was a fruitless effort.
Andrew pulled all of us inside one of the bedrooms. He wanted to snort some coke in peace without some random asking for a hit. He originally asked Sara to join him, but I wanted some to so I followed. Cody followed me and Emily followed him. That’s how we ended up together.
Andrew divided the powder into thick and long lines on a plate. He passes the plate to Sara after he snorts a line with a rolled-up dollar bill.
Sara nodded, taking her line, and tried to pass the plate to Emily. “Ems?” Sara asked.
She shook her head. “Not tonight.”
Cody is the only one to comment that I took the plate instead. “What are you doing?”
“A line?”
“You said you wouldn’t again.”
“Things change.”
Andrew laughed, mocking Cody, “She’s free to do what she wants, my boy.”
I catch Chris staring at me with my peripheral while the white line disappears from the plate and travels inside my nose canal.
“Let’s do another one. I feel great,” Sara laughed.
And that was the thing with cocaine. Once you’re in that rush, it’s hard to resist not wanting to lose it. The high was short and would only last half an hour. It’s easy to lose track of how much you have done when trying to keep the high going. I reached an even greater high by doing two lines back to back.
Cody stole the plate away from me, stopping me from doing my third and the last that was on there. He snorts it for himself. I’ve never seen him do it. He said he didn’t like to. He didn’t want me to.
-
I sat next to Carlos and Alyssa who made room for me. Made any progress on your pursuit of Emily?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “Nothing solid. We had a great time yesterday, especially after getting partnered up with her.”
“Oh yeah, what happened?”
“We just talked, y’know. I invited her over to my house after,” Carlos laughed nervously, circling his thumbs around his drink. “I tried, Ellie, but she said nah.”
“What?! Why not?”
“She said she liked me but wasn’t ready for all that stuff. Said she needed a break from guys and shit.”
“Nah, screw that, I’ll go talk to her. I think I can convince her.” I said standing up, but Carlos stopped me. “What?”
He shook his head again. “Let it go, I tried. It’s not the end of the world.”
“What?! No! You’ve been trying since freshman year.”
“It’s alright, Elizabeth.”
I sat back down and sighed. As I do, I spot Sara talking to Lucas, which was… odd. But I don’t pay attention to that.
I was planning on manipulating Emily into hurting Cody. Cody was hurting her by dating me. She wouldn’t be jealous if she wasn’t. I was sure I could get her to hook up with Carlos if I planted the idea that Cody needed a taste of what she felt.
That was my idea of getting back at Cody for never telling me the whole truth.
That he just saw me as another fling this entire time.
“Why don’t we just date,” Alyssa suggested, leaning forward on the couch.
“Huh?”
“You and me, Carlos. We should date.”This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“Where is this coming from?”
“I mean, we’re always together. We’re compatible. Sounds logical to me.”
“You’re serious?”
“I’m okay if you say no.”
“How about being fuck buddies?”
“Ew, don’t make is sound so cringe,” I interrupt.
Alyssa rolls her eyes up for half a second to think about it then nods, “Yeah, that works too.”
“Have fun, you two,” I tell them as Carlos takes Alyssa’s hand and leads her upstairs to his room.
I had a hard time believing that just happened.
-
I walk on to Amanda up on Sara’s face. They’re in the middle of arguing but I don’t have enough context to know what about. Amanda is much madder than Sara. Sara is just annoyed.
The guy who edits and documents the school yearbook is videotaping the entire thing. His name is Bo and he videotapes anything that he finds interesting. I asked him to catch me up on the details.
“Amanda is pissed that Sara was talking to her brother,” Bo answered.
That was enough to figure out what was going in. Amanda and Sara never liked each other. Amanda never told me why, but she didn’t have to. Her brother, Lucas, had always had a crush on Sara. That was reason enough for Amanda to never like Sara. It was like her personal mission to try and make Sara’s life as miserable as possible.
“I know the truth, Sara. I know you’re just a dyke bitch. Why else haven’t you fucked anyone?”
“Do you have some weird-ass brother complex? Who fucking cares that Lucas said hi to me? You’re so obsessed with me. It’s weird.”
“How do you think Andrew will react when I tell him you’re gay?”
I stepped in and pushed Amanda off Sara. No one has seen me be physical. Any eyes not paying attention stop and turn towards me. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
Amanda scoffed, “Ugh, what do you want?”
“You think Sara’s gay because she’s never been with a guy? Not everyone sleeps around with everyone with a dick between their legs. Sara isn’t a slut, unlike you. She has standards.”
“Uh, bitch, she’s the one that always staring at me. She’s a weird lesbo, everyone knows that.” Amanda smacked her lips, something that had always annoyed me.
“Who’s a lesbo?” Andrew walked in, curious about the commotion.
Amanda turned her body towards him, all proud and mighty about what she said next. “Your sister’s gay. I caught her looking at lesbian porn during class.”
“That true, sis?”
Sara never took her glare off Amanda, “No.”
“I know what I saw. I see the way you look at me.”
I laughed.
“As if. You’re just an insecure bitch who only puts others down so you feel better about the fact that no one actually likes you,” I stepped in again. “Or should I tell everyone about that abortion you did six months ago?”
Gasps fill the room. One of the jocks has had enough and stepped in between Amanda and me. “Hey, that’s enough. No need to get ugly.”
“She started it by lying about Sara, dickbag!”
“Fuck you, slut,” Amanda rolled her eyes.
“The fuck you callin’ a slut, cunt?!” Andrew tried to confront Amanda but is stopped by the jock. “Fuck all of you if you think my sister is gay. I’ll fuck all you up.”
“Shut the fuck up, Andrew,” the jock instigated.
Andrew pushed me away out of the way to face up against the jock. “The fuck you say?!”
“I’ll fuck you up.”
Andrew threw the first punch. The friends of the jock didn’t hesitate to help him out. It wasn’t a fair fight, four against one. Still, Andrew managed to handle at least two of them before they got him locked up. Luckily, Cody rushed in and pushed the guys off Andrew.
Sara ran off and I followed shortly after.
I caught up to her in the middle of the road. She only stopped when I called out her name. I placed my hand on her shoulder and she turned around to hug me. I let her cry a bit before I said anything to her. We sat down once she calmed down.
“What happened?”
Sara shook her head a few times. “She’s mad that her brother has a thing for me.”
“Yeah, no, I know. Why even entertain her nonsense?”
“She was going to tell Andrew that I’m gay.”
“Would that be so bad?”
Sara shook her a couple more times. “You don’t get it. Andrew can’t find out.”
“No, I know, I know. You don’t want to lose him. But do you think that’s what’s going to happen? Do you think he would do that to you?”
Andrew was a raging homophobe. Everyone knew that. But underneath his apathetic attitude, I wanted to believe Andrew was more than he showed. He cared about Sara. He wouldn’t disown her.
Sara nodded. “No! You don’t get it.”
“Then help me understand…please.”
Sara took a moment to gather her thoughts. I held her hand to help her do so. She took a big breath and nodded when she was ready. “Our mom died eight years ago. She killed herself. It turned our dad into a piece of shit. That’s the reason why Andrew acts the way he does. He’s filled with so much hatred and I don’t know what to do about it,” Sara paused to wipe away more tears. She laughed while I helped wipe her running mascara clean. “But he’s the only one I can depend on. I’m the only one who understands him. I’m the last light that keeps him from destroying himself.”
“You’re scared…”
“Yeah,” Sara chuckled. “It’s only a matter of time before he finds out.”
I get an idea in my head. It wasn’t bright. It wasn’t even any good, but it solved Sara’s problem.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“He’s already been bugging me why I never flirt with any guys. He already jokes around that I am gay.”
“We prove him wrong.”
“How?”
I was being selfish. I masked it intending to help Sara out. If I was looking out for her best interests, I wouldn’t have suggested the idea in the first place. I was still high on Coke and wasn’t thinking right. I just wanted to fuck over Amanda. Nothing else could make her as furious.
“Go and fuck Lucas.”
“What?”
“He’s already into you so you don’t have to try very hard. You can do it tonight.”
“Ellie. I’m gay.”
“And nobody will believe you are if pretend to be straight. Think about it. Andrew will believe it. And better yet, you get to rub it on Amanda’s face.”
Sara was too shocked to say anything back right away. “It''s really that simple, huh?”
“Nobody has to know,” I smile.