I’d opened Pandora’s box. There wasn’t anything else holding me back from being the person I was always too afraid to be. I had no more limits, and as such I tried my best to see how far I could go. I was having fun like the feeling was new to me.
I was happy.
There was something to do every night. Sometimes it would be a party at someone’s house. If it wasn’t a party, it would be a kickback. Either at Emily, Carlos, or Alyssa’s. And if it wasn’t a kickback I would spend my nights hanging out with Cody or Emily and Sara if he wasn’t available.
I drank more, smoked more, and started to pop pills. The only thing I refused to do was cocaine. That was my limit. I didn’t allow myself to fall like that. I saw what it turned my brother into and even though I knew I was stronger, I didn’t want to risk it.
In the mornings, I hung out with Jana Kramer or Alyssa. I didn’t spend a single day by myself. I taught Jana Kramer how to dress better and how to flirt. I learned more about her in a few weeks than in all the years I had known her.
Alyssa kept tabs on whatever Megan was doing for me. She hadn’t severed all ties with her because she never needed to. Alyssa was my little spy. I found out that all of Megan’s threats were empty because of her. Megan was just trying to scare me.
The posts of her affair with our teacher didn’t do as much damage as I thought it would. Megan managed to weasel out an explanation that didn’t paint her in such a bad light. I thought for sure Connor was going to break up with her because of it, but he didn’t.
A rumor went around that Mr. Lucke had to move and wasn’t going to teach next year.
Nothing happened past that.
July 4th then came.
That was the last day everything was okay.
It was the last day I knew who I was.
-
We went to the town’s fair. It’s the one day where the entire town would gather in one place. I used to go every year until Matt was thrown out of the house. I tried going once after but it only made me miss him.
I didn’t think about him this time.
We walked as a group but were split up into pairs. I stayed with Cody for most of our time there. He played the games and won stuff for me even when I told him he didn’t have to. I had to buy a tote bag just to carry around all the stuffed animals.
My heart kept fluttering every time Cody’s deep voice would say something to me. I liked a lot of guys before. I thought I loved some of them too. Nothing I felt from them compared with Cody.
Everything about Cody was intoxicating. He was sucking me in since the moment our eyes met over a month ago. He always knew the right thing to say and always knew what to do. Cody quickly became the most important thing in my life. I was so captivated by him that I was blind to how selfish I was being. I was blind to seeing what I was doing and who I was turning into.
I’d forgotten that Andrew spontaneously kissed me.
I didn’t care.
Andrew pulled Cody away for a moment and Emily snuck in behind me. “Jana thought of a great idea of what we can do after the fair.”
“Hmm, what?”
“I’ll have to ask her again to explain but basically it’s a game of hide n’ seek at night and in the forest.”
Traversing inside the forest is already difficult during the day. It’s impossible during the night. “We’ll all just get lost,” I reminded her.
Emily shook her head. “Not if we stick around the treehouse. It’s the perfect place to play there.”
“What treehouse?”
“Cody hasn’t told you?”
“No?”
“We built a treehouse together when we were around 8. It kind of serves as our second home.”
“What about the treehouse?” Cody joined back in.
“Oh, I’m just telling Elizabeth. She didn’t know about it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked him.
Cody shrugged. “It was never relevant.”
Cody doesn’t pay attention to the smile Emily gave him, but I do. It was different than the small and subtle smiles that only she could do. This one was wide. Emily was relieved, as she was thanking Cody with it.
A crack appeared.
No, it was always there. I just didn’t acknowledge it.
Sara handed me the extra ice cream cone that she bought. She sat on top of the table in the food court with me while we waited for everyone else to join us.
“Why does Jana Kramer keep coming with us?” she asked. “I think she doesn’t like us. She always looks so bored.”
“She’s my friend. I like her. She just has to get used to everyone.”
“D’you hear we’re all going to play a game of hide n’ seek she made up later? I don’t see how fun that’ll be, we aren’t kids anymore.”
“Well, we won''t find out until we do.”You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
“Ugh, get me out,” Sara groaned.
“If you don’t like her, why were you talking with her earlier?”
“It’s not that I don’t like her, she’s just doesn’t belong with us.”
“I can say the same thing about Chris. Why is he around? He’s always in his own little world.”
“He’s talkative when he isn''t,” Sara giggled, stopping her ice cream from melting on her hand.
“When is he not?”
“Now that I think about it? It’s always when you’re not around.”
“What? He doesn’t like me? I haven’t even had a conversation with him yet.”
“Cody asked him about that. Chris said that he keeps seeing the threads of fate when you’re around.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“I guess I should find out for myself.”
Jana Kramer is the first to join us. “Aw, you already got one,” she was disappointed that I had an ice cream cone already. She held two in her hands, one intended for me.
Andrew yanks one out of her hands out of nowhere. “Don’t mind if I do. Thanks.”
“That wasn’t for you!”
“Where have you been?” Sara asked.
“What do you think? I had a sell.”
“How have you never been arrested?” I asked him.
Andrew sells drugs to everyone I know. I’m told he sells to everyone in town. Everyone knows who he is and what he does. Andrew doesn’t make attempts to be discreet about it either.
“You think the bluebirds don’t buy from me either? Nobody gives a shit in this town, Ellie. Even if someone tries to be noble, I’m protected. I can’t be touched, yeah?”
“Protected how?” Jana Kramer asked.
“The guy I buy from.”
“Who is he?” I asked.
“Lyle.”
-
Cody and Emily’s treehouse is deep in the middle of the forest. We follow them to where it’s at before the sun can fully set. Those two moved through the woods like they explored every inch of them. By the time we arrived, I could barely see five feet in front of me, it was that dark.
Their treehouse was in the middle of a clearing on top of the only tree around. It was small and only three or four people could fit inside. Emily turned on a wireless lamp to illuminate the darkness.
Emily hung Polaroids of her friends in her room. She had Polaroids nailed on the walls of her treehouse too, only these were exclusively of her and Cody. Most of them were from when they were little kids. I found a few that were as recent as a few months ago.
“I told you there was nothing up here.”
“I just wanted to take a look,” I admit while I follow her back down the ladder.
Emily placed the lamp against the tree truck and asked Jana Kramer to explain the rules of her game.
Andrew passed around a bottle while we heard the explanation. I was particularly annoyed that he brought a bottle. Jana Kramer wanted to do something without any substance involved and she was now denied that. God forbid we couldn’t have fun sober. At least I respected her wish and didn’t drink.
She had trouble finding the easiest way to explain her modified version of hide n’ seek. At its core, it was just a combination of that game and tag.
We split into pairs so nobody could get lost in the forest by themselves. A pair would be it and seek while everyone else would hide somewhere in the forest. We set the limit on the distance of where we could hide by placing our phones with flashlights on to mark the border. Unlike any other regular game, the goal of the hiders is to make it back to base without being found and tagged. If one person got tagged, so did their partner.
The base was the trunk of the treehouse.
The seekers never had a win condition as it was too hard to find and tag anyone before someone reached the base, but that wasn’t the point. The fun was trying not to be the first ones caught. That meant it was their turn to seek and if everyone made it back to base, the last pair who did, lost.
We switched partners every few rounds.
In the luck of the draw, Cody got paired with Emily, Sara with Jana Kramer, Andrew with Carlos (who we invited to be our eighth player), and I with Chris.
The game began and we had a minute to hide from Andrew and Carlos. Chris followed me behind a large bush. He hadn’t acknowledged me at all.
“Do you have a problem with me?” I asked him now that I had the chance.
Chris looked down from the sky, “Why would I?”
“I’m told you act differently around me.”
“I don’t mean to.”
“Then what is it?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
Chris looked back up at the sky. For once, I could see the stars. “Do you think predestination and free will coexist?”
“What?”
“At what point does a decision turn into an unavoidable destination?”
“What does that have to do with what I asked?”
“Everything,” Chris looked down again. He looked at me. “What makes you special that you teeter between that line?”
“Uh, forget I asked,” I rolled my eyes, unable to comprehend what he just said.
We were the first ones found because we were being loud. I didn’t speak to Chris again while we were paired up. He also was no help in tagging Sara when I found and chased her. Luckily, we switched partners.
I got paired with Emily.
I followed Emily to a small creek where we could hide behind a boulder. As soon as we heard playful screaming on the opposite end of us, we snuck our way back to base. We were the first ones there. Emily climbed up to sit over the entrance of the treehouse. I joined her.
The crack that’s always been there had been bothering me all day. I didn’t think it was a problem. I convinced myself I was just making it up and I just had to trust Cody.
I liked Emily. I wanted to be her friend. I wanted to trust her too.
Because I did, I ignored all of the signs.
“How often do you come here with Cody?”
“Once a week,” Emily leaned back. “It’s been less often, thanks to you.”
“And you guys never had feelings for each other?”
“Of course we do.”
I knew. I always knew.
They act like they’re married and still alive when they’re with each other. Cody never became that relaxed and casual with me. I knew how he looked at her, how it wasn’t the same with me.
“So you’re not mad that I’m with him? How can you be so cool about it?”
Emily shook her head, checking out her nails like she wasn’t interested in the conversation. “He always comes back to me.”
I was trying to play nice. I willingly ignored Emily any time I caught her being jealous. I ignored everything she did to make me jealous. I didn’t think about it and I didn’t bring it up. I didn’t want to touch that crack in my relationship with Cody.
“What makes you say that?” I almost scoff at her audacity.
“I doubt that.”
“What makes you say that?”
“We made a promise to marry each other when we turn 21.”
I wanted to believe Emily was lying just to make me jealous again, but I knew her, she doesn’t tell lies. She wasn’t lying when she told me I didn’t have to worry about who she was to Cody either. She didn’t have to worry about me either.
That promise was there that made sure of that.
“A lot can change. The future is never set in stone.”
Emily sat back up straight and tried to hide her laughter.
“Have you made him cum yet?” She asked so bluntly.
It caught me off guard.
“What?!”
“Has he came? He cums with me.”
I don’t get jealous. I don’t get insecure. It’s not a good look for me. There isn’t anything to get jealous of anyway. What did I have to be insecure about?
Emily just threw it in my face.
“Yeah, he has,” I lied.
“Good for you,” Emily said sarcastically.
-
I got paired with Sara next.
“Do you have any coke?” I asked her.