Lyle said,


    “You crave attention, love, and validation. You love like a dog because you haven’t been loved like a woman. The warmth you seek is the warmth you miss from the parental hugs that were taken from you. How does it feel to live? To have a soul that is rotting? Where do you go to at the end of the day? Is it home?”


    I said,


    “I don’t want to be in pain anymore.”


    He said,


    “Doesn’t it hurt? To be burned away like this?”


    I said,


    “How do I stop it?”


    He said,


    “You have to let the worst be over. To be left with nothing but ash, and smoke.  And when you have nothing left, you can rebuild. Something better, stronger. The storm will pass. And next time when it comes because it will, you’ll be the storm instead.”


    Lyle knew exactly what to say. He made me feel better. I could trust him. He wanted me to be able to stand on my own two feet again. He had the tools to help me do that and that’s what he was doing.


    But he wasn’t helping me through the good in his heart.


    “Keep falling apart. I will show you what I see in you once you have nothing left. I show you just how powerful you can become.”


    “I’m pregnant.”


    “Andrew. Right?”


    I nodded.


    “Never liked the kid.”


    “Doesn’t he work for you?”


    “He’s too clever for his own good. He’s a useful, but he’s not anything special, not like you.”


    “You said that before. What makes me special? How do you know?”


    “If you weren’t, we would have never met. You’re not in a position to understand just yet, but when you are, you’ll see that we are fated to be with each other.


    Like most days, it was raining. We were stuck at a red light on the highway and it refused to turn green. Faint police sirens got louder and eventually overtook the sound of the rain as they got closer.


    “I met a woman in a white dress when I took Winter,” I told Lyle. “She told me what I’m supposed to do.”


    “And you don’t remember?”


    I shook my head.


    Lyle chuckled, “So that’s how it is.”


    The light turned green but Lyle didn’t go forward. He didn’t move after the car behind us started honking. They weren’t paying attention to the sirens that were going to cross us. The truck on the lane next to us wasn’t either.


    The cops were chasing after a motorcycle. This motorcycle sped past us in a blink, running the red light and crashing into the truck now in front of us.


    The driver was thrown off and landed in front of Lyle’s SUV. The motorcycle was in pieces, parts were everywhere. The body was not a body anymore. The rain helped muddle the blood, but it didn’t hide what was in front of me. The motorcycle driver wasn’t wearing a helmet.


    And now his head was cracked open in front of me. It was crushed. It was caved in. An eyeball rolled around.


    Lyle didn’t care when I threw up.


    “Does death scare you?”


    He was emotionless.


    “How can you be so calm?!”


    “You’re almost there. You just need a little push.”


    -


    The following night, Jana Kramer threw her house party. I helped her take down all the religious imagery and objects so her house didn’t feel like a church. Jana Kramer was nervous while we waited for the first people to show up.


    “What if my parents find out? What if someone breaks something?” she was worried.


    “Would you relax?” I laughed, already deep in my alcohol. “Why are you throwing a party if you’re that scared?”


    Jana Kramer didn’t tell me, but I knew.


    She did it for me.


    I sat on the porch when the first quests arrived. They all came separately and just happened to come at the same time. Cody, Carlos, and Andrew.


    “Eyy, what’s up dawgs,” Carlos fist-bumped  both. “It’s going to be a wild night,” Carlos greeted me with a scratch on my head.


    “Jana Kramer! Where the hoes at!” Andrew yelled inside.


    Cody sat next to me. “Where have you been all week? Making up problems that are in your head again?”


    I finished what I had left in my cup in a single swing, which was the entire thing.


    That’s all I remember from that night.


    Carlos threw the biggest party of the summer, but Jana Kramer had the best. There weren’t as many people, but it was a classic Darkwood party. The end of Summer was near and everyone wanted to go hard.


    My only memories of it came from a third party, a video recording. The school’s yearbook editor, Bo, recorded it all and uploaded it to a private Facebook group.


    In any other town, this would be the worst idea. The video would get leaked and expose all the underage drinking and drug use that everyone did. But this was Darkwood. The adults don’t give a shit. The cops don’t give a shit.


    Nobody here gives a shit.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    The video started with Andrew grabbing the camera and turning to close on his face, “Yo it’s gonna get crazy tonight.”


    “You’re gonna get the lens dirty!”


    Bo proceeded to walk around the party as everyone greeted the camera. The guys exploded to show off their masculinity and the girls tried to have the camera capture their best angle. The video was edited, and cut to make sure it didn’t drag on anything that wasn’t exciting.


    The first scene after all that was of me, of course. I was dancing to the music on top of the coffee table with everyone cheering me on. I didn’t look drunk or act it. By all means, I was keeping it all together. I looked at the camera and smirked. All the comments were saying how pretty I was and how much fun I was having. Nobody saw the eyes only I could see.


    The camera moved into a bathroom where Sara and some other girl were doing lines. “Close the fucking door!” Sara said before the camera moved somewhere else.


    The football jocks were openly snorting too and after Everyone got their one, got in a huddle and yelled, “One, two three, oh!” then all jumped up and down to the hype of the beat of the music.


    Outside, Emily was talking to some of the guys near the pool. Bo catches her as she heads back inside. Emily, “How’s the night treating you?”


    “Just fine,” Emily replied with a smile. “Are you recording for the yearbook?”


    Bo nervously laughed, “No, no, that would be insane. This is just for a personal blog that’s going to the Facebook Group.”


    “Cool! Make sure you tag me. Oh!” Emily''s eyes widened and pulled someone walking by into the frame. “Get this too!”


    “How much have you been drinking?” Cody complained, annoyed Bo captured Emily kissing him on the cheek.


    Bo moved around the pool where the only two Asian girls in school were sitting, letting their feet soak in the water. They were in their bikinis, too busy talking to each other to get in. They’re both pushed into the pool suddenly by Andrew and Carlos.


    “What the fuck?!” one of the girls yelled.


    Andrew and Carlos both jumped in right after and to add to the chaos, Andrew pulled off the other girl’s bikini top. She looked down, before raising her hands and cheering. The crowd around the pool joined her and some of them jumped in.


    As more people came outside, Bo went around saying hi to everyone and caught me walking with Jana Kramer to the pool. “Hey, ladies, where you going?”


    I scoffed, “Can it, Videoboy.”


    Jana Kramer giggled, “Don’t be a stalker, Bo.”


    There are more shots of kids drinking, dancing, taking their clothes off, kissing, and throwing up. A kid puts on a light show with strings and the video focused on that for a while.


    Bo headed upstairs and opened the bedroom door to catch the latest scandal. They’re all empty except for one, Sara is throwing up in the master bathroom. Bo asked her if she was okay and Sara looked up with wither powder visible on her nostrils. She was laughing.


    There was a fight between Andrew and some kid from Issaquah. It’s over in under a minute with Andrew leaving unscathed. There are more shots of drugs, dancing, and smoke. Bo then focused on a group listening to a radio signal to see if anyone had called to complain about the party.


    Of course, the radio was silent.


    There are shots of me having drinks with Megan and Amanda. After all, I was pretending to be their friend again. I caught Cody watching me in the background.


    Chris was staring at the stars again. Bo asked him, “Are you okay?”


    “I thought the universe corrected itself. What’s going to happen now?”


    “Uh, okay?”


    A cut happened and the next scene played out. Amanda was in the middle of asking a girl what she was doing there. I was next to her and Megan, silent. It took me a while to recognize who this girl was.


    Cody was watching. He was watching me.


    “Didn’t think I’d recognize you, did you?” Amanda said the girl.


    No one knew what she was doing there. No one else knew who she was. Megan did, and so did Amanda. I did too. She was Karen, Caroline’s little sister. She was becoming a Freshman this year.


    I thought they’d forgotten.


    Karen ran off outside and Megan and Amanda followed her to torment her further. Cody looked at me and I looked at him. Before I could run after the girls too, Jana Kramer pulled my arm trying to stop me. She said something to me that the audio doesn’t catch. Whatever it was, I didn’t listen.


    “Who was that?” Bo asked Cody.


    “Don’t worry about it.”


    Emily blocked the entire shot with her long fluffy hair, getting infront of Bo. “Aren’t you going to do something, Cody?”


    “She won’t listen.”


    “She’s our friend. Don’t let her become a bitch again. Remember that happened last time?”


    “She just turned into a different one,” Cody’s head was shaking once Emily moved out of the frame.


    “We should follow, cool shit is happening,” Andrew butted it.


    “Let her do what she wants. She already doesn’t listen to me,” Cody said, glaring at Andrew.


    Andrew laughed. “I thought you would be madder.”


    “I haven’t decided on that yet.”


    “What are you guys talking about?” Bo asked.


    The video would go on and follow the rest of the party while I was running into the forest, where Karen was running away to.


    This I remember.


    I caught up to the girls, finding Amanda and Megan laughing over the poor girl.


    Karen said, “You’re all pathetic.”


    “Your sister killed herself because she couldn’t handle some little roasting. She was weak, like you, hoe. You know freshmen aren''t allowed here,” Amanda snickered, shining her flashlight right into Karen’s eyes.


    “I didn’t do anything! Stop!”


    “You need to learn your fucking place! We don’t want girls like you here!”


    I wanted to stop them. I did. This isn’t what I wanted. I wasn’t the type of girl to belittle others anymore. It’s why I stopped liking Amanda and Megan. But I was pretending to be their friend again.


    And my life had gotten out of control.


    Everything was falling apart.


    And I saw someone die earlier in the day.


    I grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it down at Karen’s face. “You’re just trash!” I yelled. “Nothing but lonely trash!”


    But I wasn’t directing that at her.


    “Aren’t you talking about yourself?” A voice said behind me. Motherly, angelic.


    I jerked my head back but no one was there.


    “Ellie, you alright?” Megan asked.


    I turned my head back and kicked Karen. “Fucking bitch!”


    The cocaine was wearing off. I wanted more. I kept kicking Karen and my two snakes of friends continued to laugh.


    “She’s not an outlet for your anger,” the voice said behind me again.


    But Karen was.


    I was angry.


    Jealous.


    Lost.


    Delirious.


    Scared.


    Scared that I’d gone too far.


    I grabbed Karen’s head and rubbed it all around the dirt. I was so fucking angry that I didn’t realize I wasn’t stopping. I kept hurting this innocent girl over nothing.


    When it’s all said and done, Megan and Amanda are silent. A drizzle blanketed the air above and the distant thunder sometimes masked Karen’s violent wailing.


    “Is this what you wanted?” The voice said behind me. “Did it make you feel better?”


    “I don’t see a way out,” I said.


    I was alone. Megan and Amanda were gone. Karen wasn’t there. There were no trees or bushes. There was no dirt. There was only darkness.


    “It’s not too late, Elizabeth.”


    -


    Back in the video, people were having a bigger party in the pool as the rain slowly came in. It was full-on pool party with very little room to move.


    Bo made sure to get every girl who was kissing another girl and lingered on the shots. Andrew was mixing everyone’s drink. Bo asked him, “Is that a bottle of Everclear?”


    Andrew grinned.


    Nobody cared about what was going on. Jana Kramer was now too busy being a host and trying to control the chaos. Alyssa had gotten too drunk and was passed out on the couch. Carlos was chatting up some girls. Sara was in the middle of talking to her other friends. Chris was still staring at the sky.


    Then there was this shot of Cody hanging out by himself near the entrance to the woods. The camera wasn’t focused on him so it was hard to see him. Emily ran into the frame and Bo focused on her, then on Cody when she caught up to him.


    Bo stayed hidden and wasn’t noticed.


    “There you are,” Emily caught her breath. “Did you find her?”


    Cody shook his head. “I didn’t try.”


    “What’s going on with her? I thought she wasn’t talking to Megan or Amanda. Is she mad at you again?”


    “I don’t know. I haven’t done anything. Did you say anything?”


    Emily shook her head. “No, not this time. Maybe she noticed that you aren’t fine with what she did. You shouldn’t lie to her like that. You can’t keep her around just because of how she looks at you. This isn’t you, Cody. You can’t keep messing with her feelings.”


    Out of focus, three girls walk out of the woods. The camera pans to the snake trio. I was looking at Cody, who was now off-camera.


    “Can I stay over at your place tonight?” Emily asked him.


    “Okay.”