“I’m not sure where to start,” I admit, settling deeper into the soft cushions. A cup of tea is warm in my hands, and Asher sips gently from his. After sitting down, in true Asher fashion, he sprung right back up with the news he had drinks from my favourite cafe. After admitting I hadn’t been there in ages, he was even more adamant I take it.


    I can’t lie and say I’m not grateful for it.


    “Start at the beginning,” he prods, knowing it’ll bug me. I’ve always hated that phrase.


    “You’re a genius,” I deadpan, and he cracks his grin. For a Disciple of Passage, he has an affinity for shining Light in places I’ll never understand. Then, sobering again, I move my finger around the rim of the paper cup.


    “I guess the only place to start is when I got my job at the Temple – Yes, I know, that’s a while since I left the group. I’ll explain that later.”


    My avoidance is transparent, but thankfully, Asher knows better than to push.


    “I used the money mom didn’t take to get this apartment, and in all honesty, I’m not sure how I got that position. I didn’t… lie, per say, but I didn’t exactly tell the truth, either. By the time people put it together I’d been working there for months and no one really cared enough to fire me. I did fine work, rarely got into fights at that point, and stayed out of the way. Everything was fine.


    “Then those stupid riots started breaking out, and everything got so tense. I don’t know how bad you’ve seen, but nearly every day when I get – got - off work, I would see some kind of fight. It may be two people, it may be twelve, and no matter who started it, the Connectionless always got the worst of it. It got to me in a way nothing else had for a while. I couldn’t help it, I kept intervening. Everything in me would say to get away, to run, but I still can’t seem to stop it. I butt in, I intervene, usually make the situation worse. Ren is used to me coming into work late because of it, but the other night – that’s the only time it’s been so bad I had to run back to the Temple instead of home.


    “Ren gave me a candle and told me to pray to Love, to knock some sense into me. But what I saw in there…”


    I pause to take a deep breath, the memories lining themselves up inside my head. I sip from my tea. Asher waits patiently, even though he’s probably still trying to process everything.


    “I think I saw a Deity in there, Ash. I was praying, I had my eyes closed, but as I turned to leave he was just… there. Just standing there. He told me- He told me to look under the ground in Dark, “The curtains in the group chambers.” And I did. The next day, I went into the Temple early, snuck in, and found a secret passage. It lead deep, deep underground. There was this weird, spiralling tunnel, and it ended in an… underground oasis, kind of? It was small, but there was moss and vines and rock. And a river. As well as an artificial light coming from beyond the river.”


    I pause for a moment, knowing what I say next will sound stupid.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    “I threw a rock at the tunnel, and something shattered and the light went away. I reached back behind me for my bag, and I caught off balance, and fell into the river.


    “It was so. Cold. I don’t- I don’t want to think it was a Deity thing, but somehow I got out and onto land. I was outside, aboveground, and I was alive, somehow. Battered and bruised, but alive. There was a cave, with a chest inside. Inside that chest- there were papers, detailing…”


    I stop again, scared to say the truth. What if he doesn’t believe me? What if he gets angry? Tells someone about this? What if, what if, what if-


    Asher has always been able to tell when my mind wanders, and he sets a gentle hand on my wrist, nodding me on. His eyes are sincere.


    “I found papers, detailing a 7th Deity. Census’s about it, records, until they just- stopped. They completely disappeared from mention. I didn’t take any back, didn’t dare, but it got me thinking. And when I got home, I found this on my counter.” I pull walk to the kitchen and grab the candle from my bag. “It’s a Vast candle, I’m sure of it. So this morning-” It was only this morning? “I went to the main library, the Archives, went hunting for more information. Phrased it like I was looking up a myth or a tall tale I’d heard of. The assistant helping me – Sasha, I think her name was. Nice girl – showed me-”


    I break off, remembering the promise I gave her. No one will hear about it from me. Biting my tongue, I contemplate my actions.


    But how could I not tell Asher?


    “She showed me a letter they found, from one Deity to the other. It made it sound like- Like Connectionless were Disciples of this missing Deity. As if we were only outcasts because this 7th Entity – Fear, because Fear was gone and forgotten.”


    I give Asher a moment to digest the information, the not-so-miniature bombshell I just dumped on him without warning. It takes him a few moment, and I can almost hear his brain turning.


    “Enna, that’s… wow,” he says finally, breathing it out like a swear. Then frowns. “And we know those documents were real?”


    I won’t lie, the suspicion in his tone comes as a bit of a blow. He must see the way my face changes, and hurries to correct himself. “I didn’t mean- I believe you, Enna. If you say you believe this, of all people, I’ll believe you. But I just want to make sure we’ve thought all this through before going back to Sasha.”


    “Huh?”


    He frowns. “You’re going to tell her about this, right? With her knowledge, she could probably help. You weren’t possibly planning to know this and just sit with it, were you?”


    The way he says it makes it clear he knows that’s exactly what I was planning to do. He shakes his head fondly. “Enna. This is huge. We know something Deities themself have tried to hide. Something that might help dozens of people. We can’t possibly keep this quiet.”


    “I know, I know,” I consent, seeing his point. “But we can’t just shout this to the rooftops, now can we? We need to be careful how we go about this. We need more information.”


    He nods, sitting back. A smug grins spreads over his face slowly. “I can’t help but notice you were also using the term we in those sentences? I take it that means you’ve finally decided to let me help?”


    I laugh at him, and his self-satisfied little grin, and I feel more okay than I have in months. “Yes, I will let you help. And… I’m sorry I kept you away for so long. It wasn’t fair of me, and I apologize,” I add, sobering the moment. Asher’s smile fades, yet his eyes still twinkle. “It’s alright, Enna. I may not completely understand, but as long as I get a proper explanation later, it’s okay. All is forgiven, lame as your reasoning will probably be,” he jokes.


    “Deal,” sticking out a hand, and he shakes it firmly.


    And for just a while, I feel like I used to. I let myself indulge in the feeling, no matter how quickly it will likely crumble.


    These things never last.


    Yeah.


    I know.