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    As much as we’d both to stay there on my couch talking and catching up for years spent apart, I need to sleep and Asher needs to get home. With a promise to be back the next morning, and my own solemn swear to wait for him, we part ways. I jam the door closed with a chair as my mediocre solution to a problem I don’t have the energy to deal with, and collapse on my bed.


    The events of the day feel squished together and far too spread out to be a simple 14 hours, my mind still not yet synced up with the rest of my body. Even as my bruises ache, feet ache, entire body aches, my head keeps moving.


    Seeing Asher has unlocked memories in my brain I shoved into a box two years ago and never looked back on, keeping the key with his voice, his grin, the things I didn’t allow myself the gift of ever seeing again.


    For someone who used to be like a brother to me, who I practically grew up with, it’s been far too many years. The fractures in my family lead to far more than damaged photos, lead to cracked friendships, chasms between me and the people I used to call my blood.


    That, and the fact the blood running through my veins belonged to someone with DNA unconnected to any of the Deities that our society revolves around.


    Giving up on sleep, I wander around the cold floors even as my body protests. I let myself think of Loren for the first time since I saw her at the Temple merely days ago, and before that, nothing more than a passing thought I shoved away before it could take over my mind.


    I remember when we were closer than I was with Asher, how my mother loved her. But the prejudices and traditions of her family ran deep, even as mine didn’t yet, and as it became increasingly apparent I wasn’t developing the same connections my peers were, no matter how many extra classes I took, how much I prayed, how many special courses I picked up to try and find an Attribute that could point me in the right direction, she found herself pushing further and further away from me.


    I don’t know when Talin entered the picture, but suddenly he was there. Filling the space I used to fill In the corner of every portrait, every school yearbook photo, promposals, events I never went to. Events I skipped to try and desperately become normal.


    I always knew. But I wouldn’t accept it.


    And then, somehow, I looked up and realized I had pushed myself away from everything, all the people I had ever known. My home shattered, and I landed on a separate shard of falling glass than any of the other people I knew.


    But now one of them has wandered along and reunited our broken pieces of glass, somehow, and as scared as I am that it will just crack again and injure us both, I have to admit, having another piece is aiding in me seeing clearer.


    Tomorrow, I will make a plan with Asher. Tomorrow, we will figure out what to do. Maybe that will involve the explanation I promised: Maybe that will come weeks or months down the line.


    But for tonight, finally, I will rest.


    - - -


    <div>


    I’d be lying if I said the thought of leaving before Asher shows up doesn’t cross my mind at least once, and a couple times I get so far as to be toeing on shoes. But in the end, I’m pacing the hallway floor as I hear Asher knock gently on the entrance. The chair being previously pushed away during my anxious considerations of ditching, it opens easily. He frowns at it.


    “You should really get that fixed, y’know,” he nudges, and with anyone else I might go off on how I can’t, because I don’t even have a job, but the light in his eyes keeps me from snapping at him about it. How’s he’s always been able to do that, I will never, ever know.


    So instead I just smile at him and take the cups from his hand. Then frown when I see the label.


    “Asher, please tell me you didn’t wake up, go across town for drinks, then come back all this morning,” I scold. He looks sheepish, ducking under the arm I have leaning against the wall into the kitchen. I roll my eyes fondly.


    “Not again, alright?”


    He nods, and I secretly savour the taste of my tea order he somehow remembered. As we both linger around the table, the thought that’s been pinging around in my head for hours finally solidifies.


    “Hey, Asher?”


    His eyes move up to mine. “Yeah?”


    “Why were you at my house yesterday?”


    His muscles relax a bit more as he sits down on one of my chairs, the dowels creaking softly as he settles.


    “After… after the other night, when I drove you home. I remembered where you lived, I just couldn’t forget. And I know, I know, that’s a stalker move, but after everything fell apart last year, after you left, I went to your house so many times. You never seemed to show up again. Heck, before I saw you three days ago, I didn’t even know if you still lived in Kannora. I didn’t want to lose you again, no matter how much you pushed against it. So I was coming to visit, wasn’t even planning to enter the building at first but then I saw that woman rushing out, I knew I had to see you. And, well, I’m glad I did.”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    If Asher sees the blatant appreciation on my face at the lack of implied connection between me and the woman I call my mother, he doesn’t react to it.


    “That’s… actually really sweet of you. And makes me seem so much worse,” I laugh, sitting down across from him. Chin resting on my hands, elbows on the table, his position mirrors mine and he eyes the sheets of paper I have spread out over it.


    “What’re these?” He asks, pulling one forward. I sigh.


    “I was trying to write out everything I have. All the information I’ve gathered and the lines I remember from the chest of papers. It’s not much, though,” I clarify, when I see him pull more towards him. Even so, his eyes scan the messy handwriting I have scrawled over the paper.


    “Still, it’s good to keep all this documented,” he looks up at me. “I was thinking maybe we would go back to the Archives today? Talk to that girl you told me about – Sasha. She might have more information, or we could help her look.”


    I hesitate before responding. “It’s not- It’s not a bad idea, but, well, I also promised her no one else would know about the letter she showed me. And now you know.”


    He doesn’t even hesitate, responding as if he’d somehow thought this all through already – for all I know, maybe he has. “That’s a valid point, but I still think we should. If we explain everything to her, I’m sure she’d get it, and if all else fails at least we tried. We can’t just sit on this information, Enna,” he replies, and there’s something in his tone I’m not quite sure how to interpret. Confusion?


    “Yeah, yeah, of course,” I assure him, standing once again. “You wanna go now?”


    He nods, and we collect our bags before I set up my makeshift chair contraption again. He raises and eyebrow at me, and I smack him on the shoulder.


    Our laughter echoes in the empty stairwells as we descend, and our continued banter makes short work of the usually tedious walk to the library.


    The same lady, Celia, is behind the desk when I enter. I wave cordially, and her grin lights up.


    “Here for the Archives again, love? I’ll call Sasha right down for you!”


    As the shifts to intercom Sasha in, I move back so I’m standing next to Asher.


    “If you remember where you went last time, you can head right down,” She informs us, after making sure Sasha knows we’re coming. Nodding in thanks, I head down in the direction I remember from last time. Pushing through the door, I look at the split in the corridors and try my best to remember.


    “This has always been your area or expertise,” I mutter to Asher after making the wrong turn twice and backtracking. He just laughs and moves behind me so we can descend the stairs safely. “Guess that’s why I shouldn’t be surprised you ended up in Passage.”


    I can feel the shrug from behind me, I don’t even have to look back to know he’s grinning in that teasing way he always does.


    It’s a straight hallway from the stairs to the Archives, and for that I’m grateful.


    “Sasha?” I call out, poking a head through the doorway. “You in here?”


    She emerges from the stacks, waving me over. “I’ll admit, I was hoping you’d come back, but I didn’t expect it to be this soon. What brings you back so early?” He gaze shifts to Asher, and she looks him over skeptically. “With someone else, no less. Did you…?”


    I wince. I’d been hoping to avoid that question just a little longer. “Yeah. I know I shouldn’t have, but I’ve known Asher my entire life. He can help us.” I don’t mention the fact that there was a 16-month gap where I didn’t see him once.


    She looks a bit annoyed, and continues looking strangely at Asher, but seems to drop the subject. With a huff, she drops the papers in her arms heavily on a desk. “If you’d given me more time, I’d probably have more for you, but as for now this is all I’ve managed to collect.”


    She hands me one paper in particular with a focused look. “This is the one that I found most curious. Thoughts?”


    Taking it from her, I shift slightly so Asher can read over my shoulder. If it bugs Sasha, she doesn’t show it, simply hunting through the pile while I read.


    “A doctors report?” I question, after scanning the title of the sheet. She just nods, and keeps sorting. I read on.


    {Insert date here}


    Eleanor Nickols. Female. 28. Fear.


    Case Details: Sudden, extreme phobia of mirrors. A rare Disciple of Fear, last month she developed a crippling phobia of mirrors. Before that point, people recall being slightly off-put being near mirrors when in the vicinity.


    This is my eighth case of this nature, all of which have occured in the past month.


    Curious. Further research is in order.


    The note is short and to the point, and I hand it to Asher to examine further while I join Sasha at the table. “Where did you find this?”


    She lifts up a cardboard box from underneath the desk, and inside is an entire stack of similar looking documents. “They were sitting next to a bunch of Vast documents. I wouldn’t of ever thought to look through that section, but something kept nagging at me, about how that letter mentioned Vast, and I figured it was worth a shot. I’d already looked through Passage, and found nothing. Low and behold, I found these.”


    Her logic impresses me, and I tell her as much. “I would have never thought of that. You’re a genius, Sasha.”


    She beams, before turning attention back to the task at hand. “Regardless, this must be significant, right? I mean, it directly references the Fear Deity. Gives us a timeline to work with, too.”


    “And a curiosity,” Asher adds, joining our circle clustered around the table. “It says “a rare case.” Which also explains why the Deities – since it seems likely that’s who these documents are from – are so concerned with the growing number of Connectionless. There never used to be that many.”


    Sasha looks at Asher in pleasant surprise, nodding along with the statements made. “You make a good point…?”


    “Asher,” he supplies, and she gives him a curt nod before leaning back down.


    “It still doesn’t make much sense, though,” I muse, rereading the original letter. “I mean, yeah, they’re concerned for the wellbeing of their people. But this kind of urgency… does it really make sense?”


    “They might just be compassionate, Enna,” Asher says, frowning. “I’ll admit, it’s a bit strange, but it also seems like this has been going on for a while. They might just be bugged about the resistance.”


    “But then why push back on us?” I ask, the thought still forming and stacking up inside my head. “One of the main reasons I got fired yesterday was because they’re trying to oust Connectionless from higher-ranking positions, ones that they claim “require a Connection”, even if we’ve been working there for ages. It doesn’t makes sense.”


    “Well, it’s clear the Deities are divided,” Sasha ponders aloud, moving her hands about as the thinks. “Based on the letters, and the Deity that came to you, we know Passage and Vast are against Dark, at the very least. Dark – and possibly others, if there’s multiple people on their side, which seems likely, – may be the one implementing these changes, and the ones pushing back are trying to avoid that?”


    “Guys?”


    Me and Sasha shift our gazes to Asher, who is staring intently as a document. “Yeah?”


    “Is this what I think it is?”


    He hands us the paper, and I don’t really understand why he seems so distraught about it. It’s another list of names, like the many we’ve already seen, another census, only this time it’s from this year. Only a couple months ago, if I’m remembering correctly.


    “What’s so special with-”


    And then I see it. At the very bottom, printed with elegant cursive in dark ink.


    Fear ReLocation Date