Sara was sitting by herself ontop of the park’s hill. She made room for me so I could join her. The night hadn’t ended.


    “Sometimes I wonder how it feels to die. I don’t ever want the bliss to end,” I said.


    “Don’t be so dramatic. What do you mean?”


    “I mean this. Like nothing else exists and it’s just me left to my own comfort, that won’t ever last. That bliss will soon be ripped apart from me..”


    “That’s not a reason to want to die.”


    “Not want, wonder.”


    “What bliss is there to life? Life sucks.”


    “The bliss of knowing we all die.”


    “I can’t wait until I do. Anything is better than this.”


    “You didn’t have to listen to me. I’m sorry. I was wrong.


    Sara shook her head.


    I was being selfish. I was so angry. I didn’t consider other''s emotions. I didn’t take time to think about what everyone else was going through. Sara deserved to know that her brother wasn’t who she thought he was. I could correct this wrong.


    “It doesn’t matter,” Sara cut me off from telling her the truth. “I can handle it. That’s not what’s killing me.”


    “What is?”


    Sara began to cry. It’s why she was there that night. She needed to get away. I held her. I was her friend. For one night, I was there for her.


    She struggled to tell me. A secret that she keeps from everyone. Emily doesn’t know. Andrew doesn’t know. I’m the only one she told. Suddenly, I wasn’t the only one who was suffering as much as I was.


    “Stay with me tonight. You don’t have to go back. I’ll figure something out. I can help you escape.”


    Sara giggled, wiping away her tears. “Thanks, but that isn’t your job.”


    “It doesn’t have to be. Stay with me, just for tonight, at least.”


    “Okay. Okay, thanks.”


    -


    “You have a pretty room,” Sara said, looking around. “This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    I dropped my heavy purse inside my closet, hiding it away from her. “You can have the bed.”


    “Where will you sleep?”


    “In my mom’s room.”


    “No! I mean…don’t,” Sara sat down, grabbing onto my fingers. “I don’t want to sleep alone.”


    “Okay…” I whispered.


    Sara’s hair smelled a bit like cigarette smoke and old wood. Her body was warm but was shivering regardless. One of my arms was wrapped around her and the other was holding her hand. The wet spot on the pillow began to connect with my skin.


    Sara was trying her best to stay silent.


    “Do you think it’s better if I was dead?” She asked.


    “It’ll solve all your problems, won’t it?”


    “Yeah.”


    “Is that the best option?”


    “My mom thought it was. What about you? Will it solve all of yours?”


    “Yeah.”


    Sara lifted her head up, nudging on the pillow so I could do the same. She flipped it over, giving us a fresh, unwet side.


    “In another universe, do you think we would end up together?”


    “That’s a nice thought, but no, this is all we get. This is it. There is no other universe.”


    “I guess we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”


    “Sometimes we regret the ones we do.”


    “I don’t regret kissing you.”


    “I know. I don’t either.”


    Sara turned around, resting her forehead against mine. She grabbed my arm so both of them would hug her. She wrapped hers around my waist.


    “Is this okay?”


    I nodded.


    “Thank you for letting me be selfish.”


    “I think I’ve been selfish long enough.”


    -


    Andrew sat down in front of me in the diner, but not before taking a drink out of my coffee. He makes a small face, not expecting it to be black. The bitterness is all I’ve been able to taste lately.


    “I’m pregnant, Andrew,” I opened bluntly. “It’s yours.”


    He obnoxiously laughed exactly how I expected him to. “Never thought you could be this funny.”


    “It’s not a joke.”


    His carefree and reckless smile dropped. “You serious?”


    “You don’t have to worry about it. I’m not keeping it. I just wanted to yet you know.”


    Andrew over-exaggerated his sigh of relief. “Shit, you almost gave me a heart attack. You doing anything today? Want to shoot the shit?”


    I shook my head. “You need to pay more attention to your sister.”


    “Sara? She’s fine. What, why?”


    “If you don’t, you’ll lose her.”


    “What the fuck are you talking about?”


    Andrew acts like he doesn’t care about anyone. He pretends that Sara is the only one he does. He does a very good job at it.


    He was also a victim of me.


    Andrew does care.


    He cared about me.


    He made sure to strip away that weakness.


    I made him hate the world more than he already did.


    “Guess what I did last night? I fucked Amanda.”


    That’s what he was doing instead of being home and protecting Sara.


    “I don’t care anymore.”


    “You’ve been such a downer lately, Elizabeth. You’re not fun anymore.”


    “I was never a toy to be played around with, Andrew.” I got up from my seat.


    “Where’re you going? I just sat down.”


    “Anywhere but here.”